I find it really cringe. I believe decisions that involve both parties in healthy relationships are based on agreement, and that healthy relationships don’t have a boss dynamic.

It’s one thing to say β€œI’ll need to talk it over with my wife first” or β€œmy wife would have to agree too” or even β€œI don’t think my wife would like that” and a completely different vibe to say β€œshe won’t LET me.”

And a whole other problem to say β€œI’ll be in trouble for doing this.” What are you still doing it for, then?

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Okay, good to know it ain't just me then.

I assume you're a female? Just curious.

Yep!

I see this kind of mentality the same as the women afraid to do things for fear of upsetting their husbands. These are abusive relationships.

That being said, my husband and I will say "I don't think my husband/wife will be down with me doing that" if we just don't want to do it because we've given permission to elbe each other's out when needed to spare the feelings of dear friends.

Yes!

I was gonna add that point you just mentioned: if a woman said that, we'd right away suspect she's in an abusive relationship, but when a guy does it, somehow many ppl act like it's very endearing. It's really the same dynamic in my eyes.

I see what you mean about the latter mentioned scenario.

πŸ’― exactly

It’s so gross how much casual misandry there is nowadays.

I’m guilty of this. Thanks for the suggestions!