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I might get a lot of heat from saying this, but what do you guys think of husbands who say "ohhh, I'm gonna be in so much trouble with my wife for doing this" or "I'm waiting for her to give me permission for that"??

True, often times, those are said in a half joking way (but I also did see a friend being real "scared"/worried), but idk, always made me cringe a little. There sure are better ways to express respect for her opinions rather than making it sound like she's the one wearing the pants (he's subject to her authority). 🤷🤷

#thoughtstr

P.S. If you're rude in this discussion, you for sure will be blocked.

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Discussion

𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 2y ago

I find it really cringe. I believe decisions that involve both parties in healthy relationships are based on agreement, and that healthy relationships don’t have a boss dynamic.

It’s one thing to say “I’ll need to talk it over with my wife first” or “my wife would have to agree too” or even “I don’t think my wife would like that” and a completely different vibe to say “she won’t LET me.”

And a whole other problem to say “I’ll be in trouble for doing this.” What are you still doing it for, then?

JoySun 2y ago

Okay, good to know it ain't just me then.

I assume you're a female? Just curious.

𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 2y ago

Yep!

TheRupertDamnit 2y ago

I see this kind of mentality the same as the women afraid to do things for fear of upsetting their husbands. These are abusive relationships.

That being said, my husband and I will say "I don't think my husband/wife will be down with me doing that" if we just don't want to do it because we've given permission to elbe each other's out when needed to spare the feelings of dear friends.

JoySun 2y ago

Yes!

I was gonna add that point you just mentioned: if a woman said that, we'd right away suspect she's in an abusive relationship, but when a guy does it, somehow many ppl act like it's very endearing. It's really the same dynamic in my eyes.

I see what you mean about the latter mentioned scenario.

𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 2y ago

💯 exactly

It’s so gross how much casual misandry there is nowadays.

Lethal Lee 2y ago

I’m guilty of this. Thanks for the suggestions!

ShiShi21m 2y ago

She does our schedule, but I do what I want.

If you hear me say I gotta ask, it's because I don't want to do it in the first place.

ArkonaFan 2y ago

I think that can also be the spouse is like a second conscience. You may be willing to eat that second doughnut, buy that thing, waste that time, but the spouse amplifies what your conscience is probably already whispering to you.

I say spouse because I think it goes both ways, guys just make a joke about it because of the culture around authority in the home. (Which is never 100% one side in charge)