i think chemistry also plays a factor, or can

the chemistry of environment, the relations surrounding someone

as in: to be aware when it feels degrading to just exist as a woman in a man's presence

vs not even having to think about it, and just showing up as you are

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i mean that in every which way

i feel uncomfortable being girly around my mom

i cant be like this with my car mechanic

im always more butch around this best friend, it's just naturally how we are together, our dynamic

me and this cousin are super gay

why were you like that with him?

that was our chemistry

a. and i liked it

or

b. and i didnt like it

or

c. i liked it til i didnt

takes more than just two, environmental of everyone, lived experience, past relationships, parents, siblings, ancestors, animals, location