My heart goes out to you. I wish I could help, but I use LibreOffice Calc vs Excel. Pretty much the same thing, but is free and open source with a lot of educational resources.

Just thinking about using microsoft product just made my stomach churn. Hope everything works out for you.

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Is libreoffice calc useable if I follow along with an Excel tutorial. I realise I also don't even have excel lol

From what I understand and remember it is very similar. I would use the calc tutorials. For if you master calc you can export it into Microsoft formats. Then impress the hiring manager by saying that while yes, you can use excel, but did you know you could save your company a lot of money by switching to LibreOffice instead?

It is used by many governments, hospitals, non profits, and savings savy companies around the world.