Don’t try to spice things up.

If you’ve been with someone a long time and the “spark” is gone, don’t try to “spice things up”. It will just lead to everyone feeling pressure and frustration.

The “spark” leaves when you’ve grown apart, or become room mates, or when the both of you have just stopped trying. And deciding to do some sexual role play scene with your room mate that you’re just not that into really isn’t going to go well for anyone!

Instead, reconnect. Read a book together. Go out for long walks. Go on a trip together. Get drunk together. When you can actually see that person again, when you remember why you were so into them… that’s where the “spark” lives.