does this also apply to DMs?

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Technically speaking someone could be following you but not have any relays in common with you and send you a DM and you'd never get it because you're not using the same relays. This is why the new outbox model is very important. Many clients are moving to this new method. Primal uses a caching service on their backend which also helps here.

what is the "outbox model"

So relays don't get update from other relays. There is no single database. Each relay is a database itself?