More waiting today. No double fisting on the coffee this morning, tests are all done (I think) and waiting for the docs to make a decision. Hoping for a transfer to the hospital to get valve replacement instead of a discharge and waiting for an appointment. Mom's in good spirits and her lungs are great apparently, so we have some silver linings that I'm focusing on. Trying to stay positive for everyone else is exhausting, but I'll put on my Pollyanna pink glasses and make everybody smile dammit 😊. Hug those you love 🫂🫂
Discussion
if you want to take off those glasses here, I'll be here to listen ♥️
I appreciate this. Big feelings all around, lots of scary stuff but other than the broken heart 💔 she's healthy and recovery should be easier on her. It's the uncertainty of when that has me on edge now. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting 😭.
when there is some important change about to happen, we start to focus on that and it gets so hard to wait. allowing ourselves to feel all that comes while waiting will certainly get us to where we are here and now.
I imagined you talking to your mother about yarn or both of you in silence just feeling each other's presence. or you seing a bird or the window, or the floor, or anything and just remembering you are in this moment. it was like something that will show itself and you don't even have to look for.
but before it shows (if it isn't already), just feel what comes seems to be the only thing we can do.
I don't think any of the things I said is necessary, I just wanted to remember you that you can feel all you are feeling and hold you hand while you do that.
Thank you. Today was a good day, we had a step forward on no steps back. She is where she needs to be and I'm grateful for that.
🙏