Lots to digest here but I’ll do the best I can without writing too much.

First, and most importantly, primal is not a normal nostr client that sources events exclusively from relays. They have their own caching relay that is not comparable with the protocol and they rely on it heavily for loading notes within the app. The network was recently under a spam attack that caused lots of problems for their cache. That could explain harsher rejection criteria for their relay or some of the missing content issues you’re describing.

- relay.nostr.band is an aggregator that reads from other relays so even if you do not write directly to that relay it will likely have your events eventually.

- relay.snort.social is a paid subscription relay, you have to pay to write

- nos.lol has some of your latest posts. Not sure when they appeared though.

I’m not sure about the other relays you tried. I think primal sets a random list of 10 which is a very poor way of doing relays selection. Lots of relays are slow, frequently offline, or outright broken.