i cant be aware of all the ways i dont know that i dont know im dumb

but i am aware of some of the ways im dumb

and one of the ways is when my brother said: why do you think everyone grows up into a better person?

as in: conceptually it doesnt dawn on me, my math does not math this way, that more time to learn and experience would ever ever mean ~worse off~ idk if im just too blindly optimistic or too simpleminded or not a complex enough thinker