Narcissists refuse to take accountability for anything. This is why everything is always your fault.
Just to be clear. Nothing is ever completely your fault!
It’s ok for us to take accountability for the things we actually do, but we never need to be accountable for something we didn’t do.
#grownostr
Narcissists thrive on chaos. It's the way they control and manipulate everything they can. They say they want peace, but that is the last thing they actually want. The less we react, the harder they have to try. This can end up exposing them. Either way you have more peace. #grownostr
Narcissists don’t want to understand anything to talk to them about and many times simply refuse to even if they do understand. The only exception is if it benefits them.
This, of course, increases your confusion and frustration, which helps keep them in control.
Only explain what you absolutely must and let the rest go.
If they don’t seem to get it or understand, they’re probably not ever going to simply because they don’t want to. #grownostr
Abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter if it's physical, emotional or simply neglect. They all affect our mind and emotions in a negative way and can take years or decades to recover from. Don't allow anyone else to excuse someone's behavior because it's "not as bad as" something else. #grownostr
It can feel a little disconcerting when things are normal or peaceful especially after living with chaos and drama in our lives continuously.
It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. It simply means for many of us that our body, brain and emotions haven’t yet caught up with the peace around us.
It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. It may take some work for us to calm down a little to be able to enjoy the peace though. #grownostr
There is simply nothing we can do with many of these people other than save ourselves from their drama. This is a very personal decision and it's not easy. It's also not a selfish act for us to choose our own peace and happiness over someone else's drama. #grownostr
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Just because they changed their tactics, doesn't mean they changed who they are.
Not many things are this easy to change.
So when you see them change behavior instantly it's probably a trap! #grownostr
So many of us, at least in the beginning, want to save the narcissistic people in our lives.
This is impossible. They must actually choose to change themselves. This is a daunting task for them to do because it means literally changing who they are. They have become, by nature, manipulative and abusive and almost all of them don’t want to change!
The only thing you can do is take care of you and save yourself. #grownostr
Narcissists will come up with all the excuses and reasons for abusing you. Mainly, of course, blaming it on you. There is no reason or justification EVER for mistreating someone else. If they or anyone else tries to explain it away, know that it's a lie!! #grownostr
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Narcissists expect you to behave. They expect you to do what your told and not ever question or talk back to them. They also expect you to blow up when they push your buttons. And then they expect you to apologize for your behavior and never bring up theirs.
The only way to win this sick game with them is to not play.
#grownostr
Narcissists continually change themselves to fit with the people they're around. The standards they have are always changing except for one. They can do anything they want, and you can't! According to them anyway. It's not ok and you don't need to just deal with it. #grownostr
Narcissists portray us as the entire problem in relationships starting with us and then moving to everyone else around us. They’re pretty good at manipulating people, at least until you see it.
For many of us, we even thought that we were the problem, so it isn’t a stretch for others to think so too.
Just because narcissists are good at convincing everyone else that we are the problem DOES NOT MEAN WE ACTUALLY ARE.
Even if we have caused problems in the relationship, this still does not mean we are the entire problem no matter what anyone says.
#grownostr
No matter your journey. You've come a long way. The path to healing often seems like it will take forever. It will take time and it's not an easy journey. It often takes less time than we think in the beginning and the time goes much quicker. #grownostr
Narcissists view anything we do other than simply going along with whatever they do or say as betrayal. Of course this is just another projection from them.
It’s not betrayal to prioritize and take care of yourself no matter what anyone else says.
Find the people who celebrate you setting boundaries and caring for yourself!
#grownostr
Every boundary, every button will all be pushed. Then when you react. They will blame you for your behavior while they claim innocence. There justifications for this are simply more lies and this is simply abuse! This is not your fault! #grownostr
Narcissists expect grace and compassion from us. Of course this is not something they are willing to give to us.
Giving grace and compassion is wonderful. Give it to the people who deserve it and reciprocate it. And give yourself a little extra as you learn to do this for yourself.
#grownostr
Narcissists never truly apologize for anything unless there is a gain for them. They will give half way apologies, almost. Then they will put blame back on you for everything they can. Most often then expecting you to apologize to them. You don't need to apologize for something you didn't do.
#grownostr
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Narcissists blame us for everything, especially when we “piss them off”. Often times this is because we didn’t listen to them in the way they wanted or do exactly what they told us to do in the way they wanted it done.
We also end up often apologizing to them for something we don’t owe an apology for. In fact, they usually owe us an apology for the way they acted.
It’s completely reasonable to apologize for things we do, not for something they did.
#grownostr
Narcissists will give the excuse of past abuse or a hard childhood as a justification for mistreating others. No matter what you've gone through, it's never an excuse to mistreat someone else. We all choose how we treat everyone else!
#grownostr
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So many of us feel completely spent after going through an abusive relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to go through it. This same strength is still inside of you and it is more than enough to heal yourself from what you went through! #grownostr
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