Thank you! Be kind to yourself.
This is so essential no matter what's going on. No matter what we did or didn't do. Sometimes there is nothing more we can do than watch the chaos and try not to engage in it. And if we do. Have compassion and kindness for ourselves and work towards forgiving ourselves. #grownostr https://video.nostr.build/a8c8d5e501fc0a770bdb9d16f64877eeeb92da3fcfc1c554f9da85378a2854cd.mp4#m=video%2Fmp4&dim=544x960&blurhash=%5DXKA%2BrRjoZofWB%7ETV%40-%3Aj%5BWC4noft8Rka%7Dtmt79FWBoLxtoeV%40oeoLROj%5Bx%5DofR*t6ofRkayWVs%3AofRjayoeW.jsoMj%5Boe&x=9455dc555c5d914ad905f3e3f662c7c07227a8c08b59b7dabb7cda7a8af99057
Narcissists know what they are doing. At least to some extent, whether they are consciously aware of it or not.
Otherwise they wouldnât hide it, excuse it, or deny it, and they certainly wouldnât continue doing it.
Forgive yourself. This is where the real power is. Having compassion for yourself allows you to focus back on you and your life. This is part of the process of changing your life and healing yourself.
#grownostr
Sometimes saving ourselves is the best we can do. We cannot save anyone else. We can offer to help, but they must ultimately choose to save themselves as well. Choosing a journey to save yourself is not leaving them. They chose not to go with you. #grownostr
Everyone often wants to insert their opinions of what we should do in our lives. Whether they are well-meaning or not, itâs rarely helpful especially when we didnât ask for it.
We all ultimately get to and need to make our own decisions for our lives.
#grownostr
Many of us feel like healing and recovery isn't happening fast enough, or as fast as we want. We often know in our minds that it will take time and work. The more we can embrace the journey no matter how long it takes, the more pleasant the journey will be.
#grownostr
I realize most people are just trying to be helpful when they say, âJust donât let them get to youâ.
Most often, itâs just not helpful. When we can do that, we do.
The rest of the time the most important thing is to not beat ourselves up for them getting to us.
And when we do beat ourselves up for it. To then be kind and have compassion for ourselves for that too! #grownostr
The storm of the ending of a relationship with a narcissist is definitely hard. It does clear your path towards peace though. Keep going. You will get through it! #grownostr
#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=940x788&blurhash=%3BBR%7BV%40t7tmV%40Mxf6e-f5%25gtR4TafH%3DV%3Fs%2Bj%5Bx%5Dae%3F%5EWBHraxnzj%5D%25faxo%23V%40x%5Bae%25foz%25fayozkCyDe.k8oz%25fadx%5DkCV%5BofM%7CoebcaftRkCofofIWj%5BIVaekXj%5BozkCjEV%40NLfRWrj%5BkCj%5BoLfR&x=19ff9a30c16212fc900114d4f150a9c42eba19e965f212d31260c1082b111516
A Christmas wish for everyone out there.
May all of our narcissistic exes find other narcissistic exes.
Let them make each other's lives miserable and leave the rest of us in peace.
#grownostr
Narcissists always ruin holidays. It's what they do.
And if they don't, they will definitely try to.
It's simply because everything must be about them.
Don't take the bait and respond to their chaos to the best of your ability.
When you do, be kind to yourself.
Compassion and kindness for yourself is the way through this.
#grownostr
Relationships are confusing sometimes. If you leave every conversation with someone feeling confused and like you are the problem, there's probably a bigger problem going on. They may be projecting everything onto you and that's not ok! Own what's yours, not what's theirs.
#grownostr
We often think if we did a little more they wouldn't treat us this way or they wouldn't do that. This simply isn't true especially with toxic people. They show us over time they are unwilling or incapable. Accepting this is the hard part. #grownostr
Narcissists have a complete lack of self awareness or denial, or perhaps a bit of both.
This, combined with their complete conviction that they are a good person and do no wrong is extremely harmful.
Especially for anyone who has self awareness because we begin to question if we are the problem in these relationships.
We are never the entire problem in a relationship.#grownostr
Theyâre going to pissed off and unhappy. Itâs pretty simple to understand. Not as easy to deal with or actually embrace.
The more we understand this, the easier it is to let more of their BS go.
Even when they say we did it, itâs probably not. Itâs just the way they are.
Just because we understand it, still doesnât make it easy.
Go easy on yourself in the process. #grownostr
https://video.nostr.build/6ab113324e2eed5d44753b7b9f04a8cce22cf618a4168f32ecdb20830589186e.mp4
Sometimes it's the perspective that helps. Still sucks for them, but we can't save them. #grownostr
Every single thing a narcissist ever does for anyone else always comes with an expectation.
Narcissists are calculated in many things they do. Even when they aren't though, they always expect more from us. It's because to them, no one else matters. Nothing could be further from the truth! We all matter!
#grownostr
The reverse discard. When they have used you up and you are no longer useful to them or want you.
Narcissists will use this when they want to play victim and blame everything on you. Of course they will do this anyway, but in this way, you bring up leaving, not them.
Then they can say everything is your fault and youâre leaving them, even though thatâs what they wanted.
This still hurts even if itâs the best thing that could happen. Itâs one of the few ways we get out of these relationships without them trying to love bomb and hoover us back in.
It may be the opportunity you need. It definitely was for me.
#grownostr
Subtle manipulation and abuse can be just as bad, if not worse. It causes us to question ourselves and our own experiences. It also holds us back from talking to anyone else about it because we aren't clear on what's going on ourselves. It's still abuse even if it's subtle.
#grownostr 
#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=940x788&blurhash=%3B3T9Inof%7Eqt7Mxt7bHj%5BRjRjaytRfQaej%5BkCayRj_3of9GWBofayt7ofWB%3Faj%5BM%7BfQR*WBs%3AofoyNGayt6oekCj%5BRjWBt7M%7Bayt7j%40xuofIUWBt7WCj%5Baeayt7j%5BWBjtbH%25Mj%5BM%7BayWCWBxaofRj&x=c3ab49098396d7a65472c6110bd0804a0e0bef4a703128dd312047fe27a6cf73
Itâs a gift to be able to be there for someone else and support them through their struggles.
Itâs a gift to them, but itâs also a gift to us.
It gives us a different perspective and allows us to process some of the thoughts and emotions without as much emotional attachment.
This can be incredibly healing.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not only possible, itâs inevitable when you have the right tools and support. #grownostr
Think of healing as more of a game of allowing, rather than something you actively do. Allow yourself the kindness, compassion and space for healing. We cannot force ourselves to give ourselves these things, we must allow ourselves to have them.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not only possible, itâs inevitable when you have the right tools and support. You can learn to trust your intuition again and take your power back. You can build the life, career and relationships of your dreams. I can help. Coaching is the fastest and most effective way Iâve found to heal and move forward in your life. #grownostr
#m=image%2Fjpeg&dim=940x788&blurhash=%3B69Pm4f60ej%5B%7B%7Cj%5BS2ay%24*FJa%7CwwfQ%24jj%5BEfay%3DKU%5Dj%5BO%40ay%252ayJ7j%5BsoVsjuOXa%7CxGayxGj%5BS2C6ay%5Bqj%5B5lfQxGayRj%3FHfQI%3AfkM%7BfQ%2C%40jtEz0ya%7C%7DsjtAXfkxGjtNaELfQ%24jfQODfQ%24*ayNa&x=d660fd9948b643668215f0221b889dc4b181cfec3d6cba06d68529dd67b7635d
I created some things.đ Definitely not going to pretend I know how to design, but I can put words on things. I've actually enjoyed doing it more than I thought I would and I'm getting a little better at it too. #grownostr