Watch out for the useful idiots narcissists surround themselves with, which in turn also may surround you. Some of them may be flying monkeys, some of them are simply people that are clueless they are friends with a narcissist. Some of these people just seem to have chaos and drama follow them around in their lives.
Narcissists love drama and chaos, although they claim to hate it. These people help them to perpetuate this.
Just to be clear, I don’t actually think most of these people are idiots. Most of them are simply clueless they have narcissists in their lives.
I think it’s best to treat most of them the same way you treat flying monkeys. Say hi if you must, be polite, and don’t offer any information you don’t want getting back to the narcissist.
#grownostr
Narcissists only really care about power and control. It's how they ensure they will get supply. There is nothing you can ever give them that will be enough. They will always push for more. You don't ever need to give more than you have no matter what they tell you! #grownostr
Narcissists do bad things and that’s pretty obvious.
What we don’t always pay as much attention to is who they are “being”. It doesn’t feel right when they do good things because it’s not genuine. They do everything they do for themselves to get something.
It doesn’t feel like they care about anyone else, because they don’t actually care about anyone else.
One of the hardest things after going through narcissistic abuse is learning how to trust people again. We are often unsure of even relationships we've had for years. This is a normal part of the process. It's also something we can heal and learn to trust people who deserve it. #grownostr
We are often looking for permission to do and live our lives the way we want. You are the only one who can grant yourself this permission. Then we must decide to do the work and go get it! Don't wait for anyone else's permission. Start today towards what you want. #grownostr
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Narcissists rob us of too many things including our autonomy and personal empowerment. They want complete control of our minds and lives.
Healing requires us to take this back and take our minds back. To actually realize and take action to support ourselves to build the lives we actually want.
Much of this work is becoming aware of the unconscious thoughts that are holding us back. This is something we can all learn, but it’s much easier and faster with help.
#grownostr
Narcissists are takers.
They find givers and they literally take everything until we are left with nothing.
Relationships with narcissists have almost no possibility of being healthy.
One of the most important things for us to do is to begin giving to ourselves again.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not only possible, it’s inevitable when you have the right tools and support. #grownostr
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Narcissists actually do good things, but not for the reason most of us think. They do these things for power, control and manipulation.
It’s hard for us to see the reasons behind them doing good things while we are in these relationships. After we get out, it’s much easier to see the “why”.
Pay attention to the reason they are doing the good thing, rather than that they did it.
#grownostr
Narcissists live in an illusion they’ve created in their own minds. Everything they do is to reinforce this illusion and eliminate anyone that tries to shatter it.
They will never understand anything that doesn’t match their illusion. Any attempt to get them to understand is an attempt to shatter their illusion. They see this as an attack on themselves.
Let them live in their own illusion and focus on your life and your future. #grownostr
Narcissists create drama and use our reactions against us. Being OK is often survival of these relationships. After getting out, it's important to begin acknowledging the way we actually feel to ourselves and those we trust. This allows us to process and release these emotions. #grownostr
It often feels terrible after getting out of a relationship with a narcissist and it probably should.
We loved these people with everything we could. Just because it was fake for them, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real for us.
It takes time to let go of all the feelings we had for them, no matter what anyone else says.
#grownostr
Narcissists are hollow and empty. They work endlessly to try to keep their mask on so they are not discovered. The closer you get to them, the harder it is for them to maintain their facade. This is why all relationships they have are extremely shallow.
#grownostr
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I was asked if narcissists had some kind of superpower to make us miserable. They don’t!
They’ve just lived a lifetime of lying, manipulating and abusing everyone so they’re good at it.
It doesn’t mean it’s ok or they get a pass for their horrible behavior. It just means they’ve gotten good at it.
For many of us, we’ve gotten and continue to get better at spotting their bad behavior and removing them from our lives.
#grownostr
Narcissists do not want you talking to anyone else especially about your relationship. When we do, we are more likely to find out what's really going on. You also then have support to be able to leave. If someone is even subtly trying to isolate you, that's a red flag!
#grownostr
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Many of us are busy because it’s normal and it feels safer. In toxic relationships it’s easier to stay busy. They leave us alone a little more than if we just take time to do nothing.
After we get out of these relationships it’s still our normal to stay busy. Some of it is conditioning and some of it helps us to avoid all of the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts.
We might feel less bad staying continuously busy, but it doesn’t necessarily help us heal.
We must slow down at least a little in order to face and process the thoughts and emotions we are experiencing. This is the process of healing.
#grownostr
The psychological prison of narcissistic abuse is very subtle and it often takes years or decades to figure out we've been trapped.
Awareness is the first step in freeing yourself from this prison. #grownostr
It doesn't seem logical someone would take joy in hurting others. The unfortunate reality is that narcissists enjoy watching us suffer. It's not right or ok, but it's true with most of them. You do not need people like this in your life. Find people who celebrate you, not your suffering. #grownostr
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Narcissists don't usually give an actual apology. It's always something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way" or something similar.
The only possible exception is if it will make them look good. If it doesn't seem sincere, it's probably not. #grownostr
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Narcissists program us to be negative.
Any little issue we point out, they immediately shame or judge us for being negative.
The continuous reinforcement leads us to believe maybe we are negative. This is almost never true and is usually a projection of their own thoughts.
We must reprogram ourselves after these relationships to see the good things in ourselves and our lives.
Start with little things. Notice anything that didn’t go wrong or little things that worked out.
These things will all grow into noticing more good things. #grownostr
The never ending story of narcissistic abuse. It’s heartbreaking to watch and even worse to be in.
Once you see it for what it is, it's almost impossible to unsee it. Awareness is key and one of the first steps in healing. #grownostr
