There is no thought of earning or deserving anything. Narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want because they exist. This, of course, is always a double standard because the only thing they believe we're entitled to is what they give us, if they do. This is not acceptable and we don't need to deal with it no matter what anyone else says! #grownostr
Too many people are throwing this around. It's not just lying. It's lying in a way that causes you to question your own reality and sanity. It's leaving out, changing or adding details that are lies so that we question if we don't remember correctly. It's far more than lies! #grownostr
Nothing will ever be enough for a narcissist. No matter what you give or give up, they will always want more. The only way to break this cycle is to start giving to yourself in whatever way you can. This is something they'll never do for you. It's also an important part of healing. #grownostr
Healing is simply the fastest path towards ourselves. For many of us it may be the first time we have truly seen ourselves as who we are without shame or judgement. Then we get to decide on what we actually want in our lives. You are worth it and you deserve it!!! #grownostr
Even if you find someone healthy. If you are not healthy yourself, you will not feel safe in a healthy relationship if you don't outright reject it in the first place. We must feel love, safety and peace in ourselves first before we can truly accept it from others. #grownostr
Wounds from toxic relationships don't simply heal on their own. This is something you must consciously put work into healing. If we don't do the work, we will end up hurting good people in the process. You didn't deserve the wounds and neither do they. Do the work! #grownostr
Too many people stay or struggle leaving toxic people because they love them. This love is usually one sided and they don't love you no matter what they say. If their actions don't show you they love you, they don't. Leaving is not an easy decision and one you must make for yourself. Choose you regardless of the relationship. #grownostr
Narcissists always use at least a tiny bit of truth in their lies. This allows them to point to the truth in an attempt to reinforce their lies. Just because part of their story is true, does not make the entire thing the TRUTH. Always separate the truth from the story they tell. #grownostr
Toxic people project on us that we are not deserving of anything. This is a complete lie and a reflection of them, not you! It doesn't mean we don't need to work for many things, but it does mean we are deserving of it. No one else gets to decide this for you. You get to decide for yourself. #grownostr
Not that narcissists really have joy, but they certainly like when everyone else is miserable. It makes them feel a little better seeing other people less happy than them. This won't change and neither will they, but you can move on with your life and you can heal. #grownostr
Almost no one ever truly sees the dark side of a narcissist unless you are the target. They show up with the illusion that best serves them in every other place. Their goal is for supply and nothing else. Their is also nothing we can do about it other than save ourselves. #grownostr
It's good to decide what you want or don't want, but often it's phrased as "I should" or "you should". This often leads to shame or judgement around these things whether we're aware of it or not. Shame and judgement always hurt us in the long term even if it's effective in the moment. #grownostr
We often knowingly or unknowingly try to shame or judge ourselves or others into doing what we want. Although it works sometimes, it often causes resentment and it's never actually helpful in the long term. Everyone must allow themselves to do it themselves on their own terms and timeline. #grownostr
Too many of us lose ourselves in toxic relationships. Through the process of healing, we get to find ourselves and who we really are maybe for the first time. No amount of feeling better compares to this. It's beyond feeling better, it's knowing who we truly are. #grownostr
The shame and judgement we have about our past is what truly holds us back. The more we can allow ourselves to let go of this, the more we can move forward with our lives. We've all done things we aren't proud of, but we don't' have to attach the shame and judgement to it. #grownostr
There is almost nothing that we gain from being in a toxic relationship. Only after getting out of these relationships and finding ourselves do we really begin learning and growing. Getting back to a baseline of health is first though, because we are digging ourselves out of a hole. #grownostr
Narcissists not only expect you to live the way they want, but also to do what they expect which includes reading their minds. The longer we stay, the more we lose of ourselves. The way back to ourselves is healthy boundaries. These are first built in ourselves before they can be expressed outwardly. #grownostr
We miss out on so many things being in toxic relationships. The biggest thing is getting to know who we truly are. Without knowing who we are, it's almost impossible to know who or what we want to become or do. Take the time to find yourself first. #grownostr
