Forgiving myself has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I have also realized that there are many layers to this.
It's a lifelong process, rather than being something that is ever accomplished.
This is also something that you allow yourself to do.
It is not something you can force yourself to do.
The "WORK" in this is mostly allowing.
Allowing ourselves to have the thoughts and feelings without making them or us wrong or bad. #grownostr 
Narcissists usually have one target in their lives. This is often the only person that actually sees the abuse. This is why no one else thinks anything is wrong, because it is hidden. They also shame their victims from ever talking to anyone else about anything happening in the relationship. We must break the silence in order to get help and get out of these relationships. Find good people who will listen, they are out there.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
Proud of me and I'm taking the time to acknowledge and capture it. This is also a reminder for all of you out there to find things to be proud of yourself for as well. We always find what we're looking for. Look for more gratitude and you'll find it. The next step is allowing yourself to embrace it.
Don't ever think "They won't use that against me" because they will. They will catalogue everything they can about you and make up the rest. Ultimately it will all be used against you at some point and then continuously. Reacting as little as possible is one of the best defenses.
#grownostr 
It seems like every single little simple thing we want to do ends up having a number, or a dozen, other steps in order to get it done. I could be frustrated or angry, but I laughed and let the emotions out that way. Sometimes it is frustrating, but I get to choose how I want to feel. Many times I do have to work through emotions I don't want to get to the ones I do want, but it's better than feeling different than what I actually want. We can all do this, if we learn and take the time to.
Their words are designed to stab and cut us down, but in a way that no one else can see it. They learn everything about you to be able to use all of it against you. They know what they're doing even if no one else can see it. Don't believe their lies. They will try to hide it and excuse it away. Everyone else might even believe them, but you don't have to. #grownostr 
Thank you! I really appreciate that and the feedback. I definitely try to be clear with what I say. I've worked on it and at it for a long time.
Once again I'll come back to awareness. If looking into other things such as diagnosis helps with the awareness, it can help with the clarity. Then you can work to process and heal those things.
The hard part is there is so much overlap of the symptoms that show up, which makes it hard to see what the underlying cause is.
For example: ADHD, codependency, CPTSD and other things all have symptoms that show up looking like red flags for narcissism from the outside. They come from other things though and are not actually narcissism, but they look like it sort of.
We can definitely get caught up in the research of all the different things, traumas, symptoms and healing modalities instead of doing the work to process and heal them.
There is no right path though. There is a path which may be more right for you though. No one can tell you what that path is though and it's another part of getting to know and trust yourself.
I had a lot of help through therapy and coaching, although coaching was what really moved the needle for me. I cannot imaging how long it would have taken me to do it on my own.
That said, it's completely possible to do it on your own and it sounds like you are building a good foundation for it.
Huge kudos to you and immense gratitude for seeing there are things you need to work through and doing the work. Breaking the chains of generational trauma is the hardest work we'll ever do, but it's the absolute most rewarding too.
There will always be new problems and situations to work through no matter how much we grow. The good news is we can learn the skills to work through everything that happens. It's a skill anyone can learn if they decide to. It makes the challenges we face in life not really a big deal to work through even if they are. It doesn't make problems go away, but it makes us more capable of handling them when they come.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr https://video.nostr.build/c09699324eca69fafaccad316e54571e61c3e93d073886b2c082b94874c660d0.mp4 #personalempowermentcoach
Every single narcissist will show up different in every single relationship. They will look different in their next relationship, just as they do with other people. They are literally different people continuously changing, although never for the better. This is why it's so hard to spot them even if we've seen another one like them. It's also why going slow in relationships is essential. It gives them time to show who they really are.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
If they can't find reasons to isolate you from everyone in your life. They will make things up. They can't allow you to have a relationship with anyone that may allow you to see through the illusion they have created. They will stop at nothing. #grownostr
Thank you for asking!
I've thought about this question a lot.
I think awareness is the first thing and a major key piece to everything in our lives. Many people aren't even aware they aren't aware of themselves. I was certainly there myself at one point.
I also believe this is a lifelong process we do, rather than an event that happens.
I also don't think it's a requirement for everyone.
I do believe it's a requirement if we want more out of our lives and relationships though.
It starts with getting very clear on what you like and don't like for yourself and about yourself and facing those things. Much of this is also emotional and not something many people have talked about or worked on or even understand completely.
The things you like and don't like in your life, job, home, relationships, etc.
Deciding on the things you may like to change and the things you don't.
Then going to work on maybe 1 thing at a time to try to understand and/or change things.
There's also a big, but subtle difference between intellectually understand and doing these things, and emotionally embracing it.
All of this is a continuous process and much of it is emotional work because we often don't want to feel the emotions associated with things we don't like about ourselves or our lives.
I think we know when we've found a true version of ourselves when we're aware of where we are emotionally most of the time. We love and take care of ourselves emotionally and physically. We don't need anything else in our lives to make us happy. Meaning our main focus is internal and how we feel about ourselves, not on outside circumstances.
This doesn't mean we don't work hard, strive for more, give to things and simply want more out of our lives. But we don't need it or use it to justify our emotions or coping mechanisms.
I also must mention being kind to other people, which is very different than being nice. Being kind holds healthy boundaries with yourself and with others, while people pleasing is being nice.
This is by no means a complete list or strategy, but it's a start. Hope this helps and is what you were asking for.
Happy to clarify on this as well.
The more we forgive narcissists, the more permission they think they have to take even more. They don't and won't feel bad about it even if they give a half way apology. This is only to reinforce them being able to do what they want. The more we forgive, the more they also feel entitled to this forgiveness too. It's not ok and it's not right, but it is how they think about it.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
Most of us want to find our people or that special relationship for us, if we haven’t given up for the moment. It’s very hard to find those people if we haven’t taken the time to find ourselves. It’s not the answer we want, but it is the truth. Invest the time in finding you and the people that are right will begin to show up in your life.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
Narcissists will run over or through every single boundary we set, if we let them. I realize this is not simple or easy. In some relationships it may be nearly impossible. However, I believe in almost every relationship we can begin setting boundaries. This may lead to the end of the relationship because we are no longer good supply to them. This is the best thing we can do in most situations, even though it’s hard. #grownostr
The comment I received was "The more we watch videos about narcissism, the more we realize it is better to be a narc than to be the victim". There may be a slight truth in this in the short term. In the long term I would never want to live their miserable lives. Watch to the end for the real realization.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take your life back and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
Happy Pi day to all of you exquisite, wonderful, incredible, beautiful people. Whether you celebrate or not, you're still wonderful and I love you all! #grownostr
Not really a shoutout to the toxic people, but they do continue to do things that give me more content ideas every single day. I wish they would practice these things on other toxic people though, instead of good people that don't deserve it. I hope you continue to see more of these toxic patterns and distance yourself or remove yourself from these toxic people. We don't need them in our lives.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
Narcissists will exhaust you in every way they can. They will continue to take and use you until there’s nothing left. Then they will demand more and shame you for not having any more. If someone is only taking and not contributing to your life. CUT THEM OFF! They’ve had enough! The more we do the things that are important to us no matter if they approve or not, the more likely they will end the relationship. They can’t be in a relationship with someone that prioritizes their needs over the narcissists. #grownostr
Narcissists choose the best people with the best traits they can. Of course, then they want to suck the life and resources out of us. This isn't ok. It's also not ok the way they try to brainwash into thinking we aren't good enough. It's a lie! They chose us because we were the best! It's time for us to move on and shed the illusion they tried to capture us in.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach
https://video.nostr.build/fab350207dbbd8d05ed5cb755df64cd99ae92660eebe398a9c1e6413f048f3c8.mp4
The level of entitlement narcissists have is beyond what we even expect when we've experienced it. This seems crazy, but truth is stranger than fiction. There is never enough of more and more entitlement is what you can expect from a narcissist. Realize they don't deserve it and we don't need to give them out time, attention, energy or any other stuff. They've already had enough and we have too.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is inevitable when you have the right tools and support. Personal empowerment is the way. This is what I do. I coach and teach you how to take and build the life you want. To never be beholden to anyone again including our own thoughts.
Dm me or schedule a consultation through the link in my bio.
#awareness #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissist #narcissistsurvivor #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #personalempowerment #grownostr #personalempowermentcoach