you're a fine specimen of a minority who can also be sexist and racist. here's your prize 🏆

let's do 21 sats per character ;)

I think I've written more words on nostr today than I have in the past 6 months.

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I think the others are safer. it would be impossible for me to see any women hating content on let's say, Instagram, because they have an algorithm there. all I ever see is cat pics and knitting photos. the algo has taken years to learn about me and has put me in a very safe bubble of content that I want to see.

that's the deal with nostr though, isn't it. Because there is no algorithm here, a person sees everything and they themselves are responsible for curating their content. each person has to find their tribe to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, otherwise they don't see the value of nostr as a social network and they leave.

the state of nostr right now is that the user population is low and the majority of users are men. Good, socialized, well-meaning men but also some are very poorly socialized men who are attracted by cutting edge tech, radical politics and fringe economics. People tend to bubble up with those like them. Other social medias do very well keeping the boundaries of these groups very strong via algorithms. Two people can be really into fitness but the gym bros and the granola yogis will rarely cross paths.

nostr doesnt have strong boundaries because there's no algorithm. the big bubbles bully the smaller ones. Eventually they pop and disappear because no one wants to stay in a space where they're unwelcome.

Instead of implementing tech tools to mimic social control, it is more important for the longevity and growth of nostr to draw more different types of people in. We need to help and grow the minor bubbles so that there isn't an overpowering majority. I think that is when we'll have much safer spaces on nostr.

uh, then tag any woman? if they're having no struggles on nostr, I'd like to meet them.

who are these women? tag them.

it has vague 12 days of Christmas vibes

yeah, I'd say so.

my babe is two weeks fresh from the oven so my emotions might need to settle but having a child changed a lot of things. suddenly the things that didn't matter too much before become a priority. for me, a particularly striking moment of this was wiping down the car windshield before we took him on his first car ride. if it was any other day without baby, we probably would have just put it off.

And things that mattered a lot before get put aside, like playing video games. Before baby, I knew I would have to give it up and it made me sad, but now that the baby is here, I don't miss it at all. they seem trivial compared to the excitement of bringing up a whole new human.

having a kid changes each person differently and it's hard to describe your own experience to others. it's something to experience for yourself if that's what you want.

yeah definitely hyperbolic. I'm a bit riled up this morning so it became more hyperbolic as I wrote 😅

and the wrong sound effects! ugh! do they not know how guns actually sound?

imagine going to a party where everyone is kind and and friendly, except that one guy who is annoying, creeps on you and makes you feel uncomfortable. heck, he may even hate you and want to plot your death and the death of anyone who is remotely like you.

now, imagine going to a party but every person is that guy. This person not only internally thinks you're a shitstain but openly vocalizes their opinions as facts. And it's a whole room of these people, all cursing you in chorus for simply being who you are. Oh, but there's one person who is kind and nice.

Doesn't seem worth it to stay, does it.

LOL the contribution of women is insignificant in the development of civilization?

wow, do you not know how humans are made?

and nostr is for calling them out for being dumbshits too.

hell, we should do it more often.

she is brutal and I love it

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when you spend more time blocking on nostr than anything else, it really makes you go, wtf am I even doing here? fuck y'all. bye.

I understand this feeling. I don't know exactly why roya left but I have had my "fuck nostr" moments too.

last year I quit on International Women's Day because the amount of misogynistic and -insert prefix here-phobic content and memes that were floating around. It was on my own feed. it was in global feed. it was pervasive and everywhere.

I don't expect to be treated special on IWD. It is nice when it happens. When I was working overseas, the men on our development teams celebrated their women counterparts by paying their way during lunch and saying "Happy Women's Day" A simple, heartfelt sentiment. Had they not celebrated us, it would have been just another day at the office and been perfectly fine.

But no, on nostr, it would have been the equivalent of coming to work and having the men spit on us and make us feel less-than all day. Men that we worked alongside every other day of the year show their derision on just that one day.

I had people in my feed who I had interacted with churn out hate memes against women on just that day. It felt disgusting so I quit. what's the point of staying when most of my time spent here was gonna be hitting the block button?

Months later, I came back. I like the immaturity of nostr as a social space where the connections feel more authentic. Blocking is a powerful tool and I use it liberally. the social landscape change a little for the better while I was gone.

here's to hoping it continues to get better so the people who left will come back.

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very cool! I tried making a very small sample rug a long time ago using knot tying. it took SO LONG. lots of respect for the rug makers out there.

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sugarwheel cotton is sooo good. people can hate on HL for all their XYZ reasons but their house brand yarns are really good.

make sure you plan for the sleeves when using cake yarn like this otherwise you might have two different color sleeves.

makes me think of the word grok

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