wont is one thing
if you cant, very gently, you probably dont even know what you are saying
would love this rewritten for normal people who arent in your social scene
glad i passed
a privilege she wanted me to hold her
it really made my day that moment
it was really incredible
i was being so assessed
jane was so gazey she looked at me with such a serious expression at first glance
& max was like yea she scans you up & down
alone by myself
where is the breath
between performance & hiding
between caricature & erased
like being gay
every moment you arent coming out you are back in the closet
just being mohawk alone is fucking killer
erased endlessly erased
like someone putting masks on for you
c-ptsd man
im lucky im an ok dancer of moderate ability emotionally intellectually cos wtf
it is simply so much sometimes
ive read so so many accounts & anecdotes of near death experiences in groups & on websites in forums & books
it kills me when i can tell from the writing that someone has been to even a remotely similar place
kills me as much as it finds me
im wondering if having many sock accounts is not a manifestation, for some people, in a similar way
blended parts wanting their own account
their own platform
a blended part is often a self sabotaging one
again, like a child locked in a room with no one there
there is no access to the rest of the fuller self that can step in & immediately fix it
they have the bandwidth
& inside primary narcissism all that matters is someone anyone who has the bandwidth
like a little girl fucking screaming in so much pain only Palestinians who have been in so much pain can hear her
once blended, like jungian possession, that blend runs the show
when blended with a part, at whatever age that part happens to be, that part is abandoned & alone & lost & cant hear you, the full self
internal family systems talks about being blended with parts instead of in full self