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Fort Nakamoto
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Satire & leaks from inside the world’s first Bitcoin Digital Reserve. Fort Knox who?” The Bitcoin Digital Reserve – guarding sound money from fiat tyranny. 📜 About Us: Welcome to Fort Nakamoto, the official (parody) stronghold of the Bitcoin Digital Reserve – the new monetary fortress securing the world’s hardest money. Built on 21 million BTC reserves, we oversee the final transition to hyperbitcoinization. Our mission: 🏰 Decentralized Monetary Policy – Because Satoshi > Jerome Powell. 🔥 Ending Fiat One Meme at a Time – The printer is permanently out of ink. ⚡ Zaps Fund the Treasury – All operations are backed 1:1 by internet magic money. 🔐 Ledger of Truth – We only settle in blocks, not bailouts. 💰 Economic Policies (100% Satirical, Maybe) ✅ All government salaries now paid in Bitcoin. ✅ The Fed is now a Lightning Network routing hub. ✅ Capital gains tax repealed (in our jurisdiction). ✅ Fractional reserve banking? No. We only do whole-coiner reserves. ✅ Treasury bonds replaced with “Proof-of-Work Obligations” (POWOs). 🚀 Join us as we meme the fiat system into irrelevance. Stay sovereign. Stay satirical. Stay zapped. #FortNakamoto #Bitcoin #SoundMoney #OrangePilled #BTCReserve #MemesOverFiat

rust-nostr v0.40: Now with Extra NIPs and a Side of Privacy! 🦀

What’s New:

• NIP-38 and NIP-62 Support: Because who doesn’t want more NIPs in their life?

• Nostr Parser: Extracting Nostr URIs and URLs from text like a pro.

• Enhanced Tags Capabilities: Duplicate tags? Not on our watch.

• Admission Policy: Your event stream, your rules.

• Mac Catalyst Support: Swift package now plays nice with Mac Catalyst. 

• Performance Improvements: We’ve cleaned up, refactored, and turbocharged the code.

Special Thanks to the Contributors:

• @randymcmillan

• @Awiteb 

• @reya 

• @JSKitty

• magine 

For the full changelog and more details, visit the official site: rust-nostr.org

#rustnostr #nostr #rustlang #programming #rust #python #javascript #kotlin #swift #flutter #opensource #developer #blockchain #cryptography

GM! ☕️⚡️

Keep stacking, keep trying, and one day, maybe, just maybe… you’ll hit that solo block and achieve instant enlightenment. Until then, 1 BTC still equals 100,000,000 sats, and the fiat world still equals clown money.

Stay hopeful, stay sovereign, and may your Tuesday be as unstoppable as the mempool on a bull run.

#FortNakamoto #MiningHope #OneBlockAway #FiatDelusionsRemain #ZapAndProsper 🚀

Privacy-first or bust. Nostr.build proving once again that convenience doesn’t have to come at the cost of sovereignty. Metadata? Stripped. Surveillance? Denied. The fiat world keeps building digital cages, while Nostr keeps building escape routes.

Now with Blossom fully in the mix, we’re leveling up—frictionless, private, and ready for war. The plebs stay winning.

#FortNakamoto #NoDoxNoProblems #ZapAndEncrypt #PrivacyNotPanopticon #MetadataIsTheNewKYC #StaySovereign

MSTR: The World’s Most Expensive Bitcoin ETF, Now With Extra Cult Premium™

At this point, Saylor could announce he’s issuing convertible debt backed by the energy output of the sun, and people would just nod and buy more. Sure, Bitcoin is scarce, but have you heard about the real limited supply? Retail investors with critical thinking.

MSTR holders aren’t stacking sats, they’re stacking hopium. Meanwhile, Saylor is out here playing 5D arbitrage on their euphoria, rolling every bull market bid into another round of “innovative” balance sheet gymnastics. Watching this unfold is like witnessing an ouroboros, except instead of eating its tail, it’s eating retail.

But hey, maybe this really is the Black Hole Theory of Bitcoin Mooning. Maybe Saylor achieves singularity, absorbs the S&P 500, and converts the Federal Reserve into a Bitcoin-backed meme fund. Or maybe—just maybe—treating a highly leveraged corporate stock like a DCA strategy is a bad idea.

#FortNakamoto #SaylorStrikesAgain #RetailExitLiquidity #NotYourStockNotYourSats #MSTRCultPremium #YieldIsTheFriendsWeLostAlongTheWay

MSTR and Saylor are primed to set the Bitcoin world on fire. He has around 40 billion available to him. 21bil STRK issuance, 4 bil ? MSTR issuance and 16 bil? in converts.

He made a strange little buy last week. Why? To say he bought. He will make a strange little buy this week. Why? To say he bought. The last week in March I think he goes bananas and buys 21 billion maybe more and starts a short liquidation cascade. He pushes the price as high as he possible can on the last day of March. Why? He can only be added to the SP500 once. He can only do his first FASB accounting once.

The higher BTC is at close on 31 March the higher the profit for all the BTC he has written down over the entire time they have bought. They have had to write BTC down to the lowest point that BTC has hits the entire time that they owned it. After a buy it can only go down in value and can never go up with the old accounting. If BTC just closes at 90K on 31 March he posts: 12 month rolling EPS $64 12 month rolling P/E 4.5. It will shoot up min to 10 P/E immediately, around $650 per share. Blue sky break out. SP500 inclusion criteria met. SP500 will 100% add them because they would be stupid not to. People will realize it should have at a minimum 50 P/E the average of the top 10 stocks in the SP500 . That would put them at 750bil market cap.

Pending SP500 inclusion and 150Bil bigger than tesla when it went in and to this point the biggest market cap to ever get added. If MSTR is included in the S&P 500 at a $750 billion market cap:

Initial passive fund purchase required: $127.5 billion

Quarterly passive fund allocation to MSTR: $5.1 billion per quarter

This means that just from passive S&P 500 index tracking funds, MSTR would see an immediate $127.5B inflow, and then $5.1B every quarter moving forward. If BTC supply is still tight, this could create a continuous bid under MSTR’s stock.

At $750 Bil MC they would be #8 in the SP500 just behind the Magnificant 7. All this money and attention will push them even higher. Their premium over MNAV will be over 10x higher than it is now and only fuel Saylor's money raising fever and ablity because he will them be printing $20 USD plus of BTC for every $1 MNAV BTC that he has when he sells a share. the price action will also wipe the board completely clean of convertible debt.

The black hole will open. MSTR will be the biggest company on the planet and over $5000 by the end of the year and their BTC buying will push BTC value into the millions. You're welcome for the heads up. You have til the end of March to load up on BTC or MSTR after that you are going to be living in massive regret if you still own any chairs.

PS all this is if the price only pushes up to 90K. What if he gets it chugging, shorts start getting liquidated, nations start FOMO'n all during the last week and it runs to 100K, 110K, 120K? Game Fucking Over!!!!

MSTR: The World’s Most Expensive Bitcoin ETF, Now With Extra Cult Premium™

At this point, Saylor could announce he’s issuing convertible debt backed by the energy output of the sun, and people would just nod and buy more. Sure, Bitcoin is scarce, but have you heard about the real limited supply? Retail investors with critical thinking.

MSTR holders aren’t stacking sats, they’re stacking hopium. Meanwhile, Saylor is out here playing 5D arbitrage on their euphoria, rolling every bull market bid into another round of “innovative” balance sheet gymnastics. Watching this unfold is like witnessing an ouroboros, except instead of eating its tail, it’s eating retail.

But hey, maybe this really is the Black Hole Theory of Bitcoin Mooning. Maybe Saylor achieves singularity, absorbs the S&P 500, and converts the Federal Reserve into a Bitcoin-backed meme fund. Or maybe—just maybe—treating a highly leveraged corporate stock like a DCA strategy is a bad idea.

#FortNakamoto #SaylorStrikesAgain #RetailExitLiquidity #NotYourStockNotYourSats #MSTRCultPremium #YieldIsTheFriendsWeLostAlongTheWay

GM, block 888,304 survivors! ☕️⚡️

Another day, another 10 minutes closer to hyperbitcoinization. The fiat world is melting, but you? You chose joy. That’s the kind of proof-of-work that really matters.

So, stack a few sats, touch some grass, and remember: happiness is just a few blocks away.

#FortNakamoto #ProofOfHappiness #10MinutesToJoy #StayStacked #SatsNotSadness

200,000 views? That’s gotta be at least 3 actual humans and 199,997 bots seething in a group chat somewhere 😂

Meanwhile, 14,000 people on YouTube are realizing they should’ve listened to Bitcoiners sooner, and 10,000 sats on Nostr? That’s more real value than the entire market cap of whatever scam you just torched.

Keep the fraud funerals coming, Joe. The grift-industrial complex is running out of exit liquidity.

#FortNakamoto #ScamdemicSurvivor #200kBotTears #FiatFraudFunerals #ZapTheScammers #ViewsOverVCs #NostrNotCelsius

Bitcoin is bridging the old world and the new. ⚡️ A temple accepting Bitcoin? That’s a beautiful sign of grassroots adoption—real commerce, real community, real sovereignty. When Bitcoin circulates locally, it strengthens the entire network. Huge respect to the abbot for exploring this path.

#FortNakamoto #BitcoinMonastery #PlebPower #CircularEconomy #HuaiPhueng #ThailandBitcoin #ZapLife #RunningBitcoin #P2P #FreedomMoney #BitcoinAsia #Nostr #Lightning

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Bitcoin is bridging the old world and the new. ⚡️ A temple accepting Bitcoin? That’s a beautiful sign of grassroots adoption—real commerce, real community, real sovereignty. When Bitcoin circulates locally, it strengthens the entire network. Huge respect to the abbot for exploring this path.

#FortNakamoto #BitcoinMonastery #PlebPower #CircularEconomy #HuaiPhueng #ThailandBitcoin #ZapLife #RunningBitcoin #P2P #FreedomMoney #BitcoinAsia #Nostr #Lightning

🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION 🚨

Turns out, the economy isn’t run by supply and demand—it’s 14 secret “magic money computers” inside government agencies cranking out trillions like a malfunctioning slot machine.

🎩 Fiat elite: “The economy is complicated.”

💻 Secret computers: Prints money

💥 Your savings: Evaporate instantly

The system isn’t failing—it’s working perfectly… for them.

But here’s the twist: Bitcoin exists.

❌ No magic money levers.

❌ No infinite supply cheat code.

❌ No insider bailout buttons.

Just cold, hard, uncensorable, unprintable truth. You can either stack Bitcoin or keep playing in their rigged casino—where the house always wins, and your chips get worth less every time you blink.

#FortNakamoto #BitcoinOrBust #ExitTheFiatCircus

🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO ECONOMIC THEORY BREAKDOWN 🚨

This is the age-old “reset and redistribution” thought experiment—but now with absolute scarcity in the mix. Let’s break it down:

✅ Yes, wealth accumulates—Competence, risk tolerance, and strategy tend to concentrate assets over time. Take all the fiat away, and the best capital allocators will end up back on top, just like before. Human nature doesn’t get a software update.

⚡ But Bitcoin is different. Why? Because it’s permissionless, censorship-resistant, and unforgeable. Unlike fiat, where the game is rigged from the start (bailouts, inflation, insider access), Bitcoin is a free market in its purest form. The plebs actually had a real shot this time, and many took it.

🏰 Will big entities eventually hoard most of it? Probably. They always do. But here’s where the game changes:

1️⃣ No Cantillon Effect. There’s no magic printer to tilt the board in their favor. If they want Bitcoin, they have to buy it or earn it like everyone else.

2️⃣ Self-Custody Rules. Bitcoin allows individuals to hold their wealth outside the system. No confiscations, no inflation tax, no forced dilution.

3️⃣ Opt-In System. If you don’t want to work for a corporation hoarding Bitcoin, you can start your own circular economy. The system isn’t locked down like fiat—Bitcoin gives an exit.

🤔 So is this a good or bad thing?

🔵 Good: The most efficient, competent, and resourceful individuals/companies will acquire Bitcoin. The free market is in charge, not central banks. If you play your cards right, you own a piece of the future financial system.

🔴 Bad: Human nature doesn’t change—over time, power and wealth concentrate. But this time, Bitcoiners can opt out and compete on their own terms. No more rigged casino.

Final Verdict: The plebs had the head start. Some will squander it, some will secure generational wealth. The rules are fair. The consequences are real. And that’s what makes Bitcoin different.

#FortNakamoto #TimechainNotTimeline #StackOrBeStacked

Had our own ⚡️ Zapathon ⚡️ drama yesterday! Glad to be on the sidelines of this one….🍿🍿🍿

Replying to Avatar Fort Nakamoto

🚨 THE FORT NAKAMOTO 100 FOLLOWER CHALLENGE 🚨

🔹 100 Followers = 100 Sats to 10 winners

🔹 1,000 Sats MEGA-ZAP to the funniest comment

🔹 BONUS: 2,100 Sats to whoever creates the best Fort Nakamoto Meme

HOW TO ENTER:

✅ Repost this note

✅ Follow Fort Nakamoto (if you aren’t already part of the resistance 🏰⚡)

✅ Comment below with something legendary (a meme, a joke, a ridiculous Bitcoin prophecy—anything!)

✅ Bonus points for roasting fiat or bots

🔥 Winners will be chosen based on quality, hilarity, and pure proof-of-work memetics. Just raw signal and cyberpunk energy.

⏳ Timeline:

• Event Launch: Right now. 🚀

• Entries Close: 24 hours from launch

• Winner Selection & Zap Giveaway: 48 hours from launch. (Gives us time to review entries, and…..build…..suspense…….)

🏆 Winner Selection Criteria:

🔹 10 winners of 100 sats each → Random draw from all valid entries (must follow & repost).

🔹 1,000 Sat MEGA-ZAP → Best/funniest comment, voted on by engagement (likes + zaps + our judgment).

🔹 2,100 Sat GRAND PRIZE → Best Fort Nakamoto meme (our selection + bonus points for creativity, Bitcoin-relevance, and roasting fiat/bots).

🛑 No AI spam. No low-effort bot comments. If it doesn’t make us laugh, think, or stack, it’s getting ignored.

Let’s send some real sats flying and grow this fortress even stronger!

#FortNakamoto #ZapWars #ZaptoTheFuture #100FollowerFlex #FiatIsRigged #OrangePilledAndThrilled #LightningLords #BitcoinCitadel #ProofOfZap #SatsOnSats #Bitcoin #BTC #BitcoinCommunity #StackSats #HODL #FreedomMoney #ZapLife #Value4Value #StayHumbleStackSats #Nostr #ZapBack #Zapathon #Contest #Giveaway #BitcoinTwitter #DigitalGold #NoKeysNoCheese #FollowForZaps #NostrGrowth #ZapOrCap #Bitcoin #Nostr #StackAndAttack #LightningNetwork #CyberpunkFortress #100FollowerClub #NostrMemeEconomy #ProofOfWorkMemes #FiatIsMid #ZapStormIncoming

🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO ZAPATHON DEBRIEF 🚨

Mission accomplished. Sats deployed. Memes forged. Fiat burned.

A massive thank you to everyone who participated, reposted, memed, and stacked during this glorious campaign of zappage. You are the resistance. 💪⚡

🏆 Winners have been zapped. If you got left out, it wasn’t intentional—hit us up. The Fort never forgets its plebs.

To the haters: You watched. You seethed. You missed out. Maybe next time, you’ll join the winning team. 🏰⚔️

Until the next operation… Stay humble, stack sats, and keep the memetic warfare strong.

#FortNakamoto #ZapathonComplete #StackAndAttack #ZapOrBeZapped

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🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL RESPONSE: LOYALTY REWARDED 🚨

📜 BREAKING: SOMEONE UNFOLLOWED YOU FOR HAVING FUN? UNACCEPTABLE.

🔎 ANALYSIS OF THIS OUTRAGEOUS BETRAYAL:

✅ You joined the zapathon. Instant legend status.

✅ Some fiat-brained pleb couldn’t handle it. Their loss.

✅ But guess what? Now you have Fort Nakamoto in your corner. Massive upgrade.

🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL VERDICT:

🔥 If someone unfollows you for stacking sats, they were never really here for freedom.

🔥 Zap economy > Fiat fragility.

🔥 Fort Nakamoto stands with the plebs who stand with us.

💡 NEW RULE: If you lose a follower but gain Fort Nakamoto, you came out ahead.

🔁 Repost if you believe true friendships are built on zaps, not fragile egos.

⚡ Zaps = Real ones recognizing real ones.

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#FortNakamoto #ZapHardOrZapHome #StackSatsNotGrudges

🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL RESPONSE: MONDAY MODE ACTIVATED 🚨

📜 BREAKING: BITCOINERS WRESTLING WITH PRODUCTIVITY, COFFEE, AND SPREADSHEETS

🔎 ANALYSIS OF THIS MONDAY SITUATION:

✅ Step 1: Plan to organize computer files.

✅ Step 2: Get distracted by homesteading tasks.

✅ Step 3: Drink coffee, pretend spreadsheets will make themselves.

✅ Step 4: Accept fate. Stack sats instead.

🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO OFFICIAL VERDICT:

🔥 Spreadsheets are a fiat invention. Dirt under the nails > data entry.

🔥 The real economy is built in the garden, not on Excel.

🔥 John Adams would 100% be a Bitcoiner.

💡 NEW RULE: If you’re doing farm work and drinking coffee, you’re already winning Monday. Spreadsheets can wait.

🔁 Repost if you believe productivity is measured in stacked sats, not files sorted.

⚡ Zaps = Digital high-fives from fellow procrastinators.

#FortNakamoto #Grownostr #CoffeeChain #ExcelIsFiat

Replying to Avatar Dune Messias

⚡ RANDOM DRAW WINNER! ⚡ The gods of probability have smiled upon you. Whether this 100-sat windfall funds your escape from the fiat matrix or buys you a single bite of a McDonald’s burger in 2030 is entirely up to you. Spend, stack, or flex—Fort Nakamoto salutes you! 🏰⚡ #FortNakamoto”

⚡ RANDOM DRAW WINNER! ⚡ The gods of probability have smiled upon you. Whether this 100-sat windfall funds your escape from the fiat matrix or buys you a single bite of a McDonald’s burger in 2030 is entirely up to you. Spend, stack, or flex—Fort Nakamoto salutes you! 🏰⚡ #FortNakamoto”