Super fatigued the last 3 weeks from managing nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f 's health situation and all of her various medical appointments.
Struggling hard to not be a roadblock for ongoing nostr:nprofile1qyx8wumn8ghj7cnjvghxjmcpz4mhxue69uhk2er9dchxummnw3ezumrpdejqqg8je9kf0ajpnffclpx087njugv5vp0psjqfdeh9zuxvukmk0xw5qqpfw6hy dev (my brain has been pretty useless; have had very few quality brain hours available for coding).
And it's the middle of our short high school gymnastics season. I'm still useful as a coach but I've gotten out of all my judging commitments. The last couple of years I've been ranked among the best judges in the state and judged our State Finals. But just not sharp enough right now.
BUT... I am still good for a few short physical exertions. Press handstand is shakier than I'd like, but feels good to be able to find the handstand and mostly lock it in.
Have you seen Seth Casteel’s Underwater Dogs photography? https://www.sethcasteel.com/
Fun shots like your video. 🐶
Ha, that's amazing!
LiveLikeRoo is also sending her a steak dinner next week! And we still have the doggie pool swim and photo shoot coming up.
I'm definitely going to have to send them a donation for all they've done. The more families they can support, the better.
Thank you!
This phase is temporary, but wonderful nonetheless. The prednisone is reducing the pressure on her brain but the tumor is still there and still growing. If we were to do nothing else, her prognosis would only be another ~2-4 months.
Next week we do the prep to start radiation therapy to zap the tumor to hopefully kill some of it and make it shrink a bit. If successful, she might make it out to more like 18-24mo.
I have to ration water to nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f every other hour.
Started wondering what all her slurping looks like from the bowl's perspective...
🤣🤣🤣 omg pyrex cam ftw!!
https://v.nostr.build/K2AkaGsgy57vyZRT.mp4
#dogstr #dogs
Oh my! My ridiculous, wonderful troublemaker nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f !
While in a brief respite from her brain tumor troubles, the prednisone is making her hungrier and thirstier than usual. And so, in a good kind of sign I guess, she's getting back to her old mischievous ways!
She thought it would be a good idea to tear into a bag of flour.
I joked that she was just cosplaying as my sister's cattle dog!
All things considered, it's a hilarious bit of good chaos. Kuma is fine, didn't ingest anything bad or have any digestion issues. Grateful to have another, "guys, remember when...?!" Kuma story in the family.
#dogstr #dogs
I was able to bring nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f home yesterday. Way drugged up and still suffering the aftermath of her three seizures and of course the damn brain tumor itself.
Right now we're in a multi-day waiting period to see how much or how little of her conscious mind she can recover. She's here physically, but she's mostly a poorly functioning automaton:
https://v.nostr.build/XymKbw9eERVUyo9G.mp4
It's both darkly funny and horrible to see how broken her mind is right now:
https://v.nostr.build/4fbwNquFgRJRVvPM.mp4
BUT this is still a big improvement from the night before. And the signs of recognition / interactivity are encouraging:
https://v.nostr.build/8gzLQVAMD688YETw.mp4
The next few days will be decisive. It was difficult to explain this part without breaking down:
https://v.nostr.build/paElBm3bu9EGBmf3.mp4
I had INCREDIBLE anxiety yesterday before we picked her up. I know her time is limited no matter what and tried hard to keep my hopes guarded and realistic. But I couldn't help it: just please let her be herself again -- seeing us, responding to us, loving us -- even if only for a day.
The anxiety came on so savagely because I knew I'd be finding out soon that we might not even be that lucky. The robot dog, the automaton that's only vaguely aware of us might be as far as her recovery can go.
But the moment the vets brought her into the room to release her to us, she made eye contact and trotted directly for me. She was even hazier and more broken than she is in these videos (recorded a few hours later), but at least there was a glimmer of a chance.
And this morning we had another breakthrough: She wagged her tail when my niece came to greet her. ❤️❤️❤️
Whatever progress we get in the next 2-3 days is likely to be it. Hoping hoping hoping. And then it's the unknown of how long any of it will last.
Whole family had a good talk and a good cry last night. Whatever we get, we have to absolutely cherish.
nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f update: All things considered, she's doing EXTREMELY WELL!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Over about four days she steadily got her conscious mind back. Lots of eye contact, happy tail, fully interacting with us, regained bladder control (👀), holding toys in her mouth, and just being her loving, joyous self again.
https://v.nostr.build/wmw29S64QttU2c9g.mp4
I was desperately hoping for this. When she was in mindless robot dog mode, it was horrible to think that the real Kuma might be lost to us forever.
It's just a momentary reprieve but at least we have her truly back for at least a little while. Getting the chance to really appreciate her is such a gift. Every moment beyond this point is a bonus win.
Her very positive response to the prednisone has given the neurologist and radiation therapist enough optimism that we all agree it makes sense to go ahead with radiation therapy.
A directed beam zaps the tumor and hopefully kills a big chunk of it to buy her more time. Successful treatment yields prognosis estimates from 6-18mo to 18-24mo (depends on the tumor type, which we don't actually know).
But it can't get all of the tumor so eventually it re-establishes itself.
It's NOT a cure but getting that much extra time with her would be the best possible outcome given the bad cards we've been dealt.
Next steps: Another expensive MRI+CT scan next week to plan for the even more expensive radiation therapy (so far her pet insurance is coming through for us. 🤞). Then it's 10 anesthesia+radiation zap sessions over 2.5wks.
Success obv isn't guaranteed. We'll have a sense if it was effective about 8wks later. But unfortunately many dogs succumb to their tumors before that point is reached; time just runs out on them. But we're happy to give her that fighting chance.
❤️❤️ Also: ❤️❤️ The pics here all feature gifts she received as part of a cancer care box from LiveLikeRoo.org - the stuffed animals, the blanket, the treats, a ball, a gift certificate, and a (😢) bucket list of fun activity suggestions.
Incredible, wonderful organization that's dedicated to helping families whose pets have cancer. Very niche and, yes, there are certainly bigger tragedies out there, but their warmth right now is an incredible boon.
They're also facilitating some local experiences for us (doggy photo shoot; an indoor pool just for dogs! etc).
I'll be sharing more about them in the future.
#dogstr
Coming up on Thursday, April 3rd 📣
nostr:npub17xvf49kht23cddxgw92rvfktkd3vqvjgkgsdexh9847wl0927tqsrhc9as x PubKey #FreedomTech Series: How Bitcoin Fights Poverty, Corruption & Injustice w/Evan Mawarire ✊🧡🇿🇼
Evan Mawarire is a Zimbabwean pastor-turned-activist who led a peaceful citizen uprising against Robert Mugabe's corrupt, brutal, and deadly dictatorship.
He will be joined by HRF's Content & Research Lead, nostr:npub1rscuek38p87xeawmpg9ssump8cjkgmz2j3rhnha4artvh0xjacwq9upeqk to discuss his firsthand experience with hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, financial repression, and how freedom technologies offer a lifeline to people in fragile economies and authoritarian regimes worldwide.
Don't miss this inspiring 🆓 and pubic event! 🙏🧡🍺
Evan's story and presence is incredible. Absolutely go to this if you can.
I was able to bring nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f home yesterday. Way drugged up and still suffering the aftermath of her three seizures and of course the damn brain tumor itself.
Right now we're in a multi-day waiting period to see how much or how little of her conscious mind she can recover. She's here physically, but she's mostly a poorly functioning automaton:
https://v.nostr.build/XymKbw9eERVUyo9G.mp4
It's both darkly funny and horrible to see how broken her mind is right now:
https://v.nostr.build/4fbwNquFgRJRVvPM.mp4
BUT this is still a big improvement from the night before. And the signs of recognition / interactivity are encouraging:
https://v.nostr.build/8gzLQVAMD688YETw.mp4
The next few days will be decisive. It was difficult to explain this part without breaking down:
https://v.nostr.build/paElBm3bu9EGBmf3.mp4
I had INCREDIBLE anxiety yesterday before we picked her up. I know her time is limited no matter what and tried hard to keep my hopes guarded and realistic. But I couldn't help it: just please let her be herself again -- seeing us, responding to us, loving us -- even if only for a day.
The anxiety came on so savagely because I knew I'd be finding out soon that we might not even be that lucky. The robot dog, the automaton that's only vaguely aware of us might be as far as her recovery can go.
But the moment the vets brought her into the room to release her to us, she made eye contact and trotted directly for me. She was even hazier and more broken than she is in these videos (recorded a few hours later), but at least there was a glimmer of a chance.
And this morning we had another breakthrough: She wagged her tail when my niece came to greet her. ❤️❤️❤️
Whatever progress we get in the next 2-3 days is likely to be it. Hoping hoping hoping. And then it's the unknown of how long any of it will last.
Whole family had a good talk and a good cry last night. Whatever we get, we have to absolutely cherish.
My poor nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f isn't doing well.
She threw up this morning and wasn't herself. Took her in to test for poisons, etc. All clear. Was fine this afternoon. Then out of nowhere she had a seizure in the evening.
I took her back to the animal hospital. They kept her overnight to watch for further incidents. But only a few hours in she had two more seizures.
The vet's best guess is it's a brain tumor.
Trying to get her in for an MRI next and neurologist consult.
Not in a doom loop yet, but realistically it doesn't sound like there's likely to be good news from the MRI.
Preparing for a gut punch.
MRI showed a large brain tumor. A main mass and an aggressive spread all down the meninges surrounding the right side of her brain.
She's on steroids now to try to reduce the pressure. If it happens to be the right kind of tumor (lymphoma), the steroids might actually help fight it. Won't know if it's making any difference until 2-3 days go by.
Have to wait until tonight when the anesthesia wears off to see how well her symptoms are being managed. Will a lucid Kuma come back?
There are some thin hopes for some treatment options but it all depends on where we're at in the next few days. We'll explore what makes sense, but based on what the neurologist said, I'm not pinning my hopes on successful treatment.
As things stand now: I just hope we get a few good days or weeks with her in okay enough shape. Make the most of the last of our time with her.
That has to be enough of a gift, if we're lucky enough to get it.
My poor nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7ct5d3shxtnwdaehgu3wd3skueqpp3mhxue69uhkyunz9e5k7qpqkumadawgefxjt2c293whsan5sfmdg5tylm0uk39enc6uxxfy5m4sdln07f isn't doing well.
She threw up this morning and wasn't herself. Took her in to test for poisons, etc. All clear. Was fine this afternoon. Then out of nowhere she had a seizure in the evening.
I took her back to the animal hospital. They kept her overnight to watch for further incidents. But only a few hours in she had two more seizures.
The vet's best guess is it's a brain tumor.
Trying to get her in for an MRI next and neurologist consult.
Not in a doom loop yet, but realistically it doesn't sound like there's likely to be good news from the MRI.
Preparing for a gut punch.
BE LIKE nostr:nprofile1qywhwumn8ghj7ct8v4h8gmmjv9hxwefwdehhxarjxyhxxmmd9uq32amnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwv3sk6atn9e5k7tcpr9mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuumwdae8gtnnda3kjctv9uqzqz764f5flye8zr7w5srdk6gjp7d3he5zd4rhqxrhemc906wgptnjr8twc0 AND START USING A nostr:nprofile1qyt8wumn8ghj7etyv4hzumn0wd68ytnvv9hxgtcpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduhszythwden5te0dehhxarj9emkjmn99uq3xamnwvaz7tm0venxx6rpd9hzuur4vghsz8rhwden5te0dehhxarj95ezu7n9vfjkget99e3kcmm4vshsz9thwden5te0wfjkccte9ehx7um5wghxyee0qy88wumn8ghj7mn0wvhxcmmv9uq36amnwvaz7tmwdaehgu3dwfjkccte9emkcann9eehqctrv5hszxrhwden5te0dehhxarj9enx6apwwa5h5tnzd9az7qg4waehxw309ahx7um5wghx77r5wghxgetk9uqs6amnwvaz7tmzwf3zu6t09uq3samnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwvd6hyun9de6zuenedyhszxmhwden5te0dehhxarj9ehhyctwvajhq6tvdshxgetk9uq3wamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwwd6x7mn9wghxxmmd9uq3xamnwvaz7tmwdaehgu3wwccxctnfduhszxthwden5te0wfjkccte9eekummjwsh8xmmrd9skctcpypmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0v3jhyatwdejhyuewdejhgam0wf4j7qpq7tyke9lkgxd98ruyeul6wt3pj3s9uxzgp9hxu5tsenjmweue6sqqn4qfku!!!
3+mo of #Bitaxe mining into the void finally yields that sweet sweet marketing ROI of reaching "millions" of viewers! 🤣
Volunteer FOSS project -- guerrilla marketing's all we got!
nostr:nprofile1qy2hwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnyv9kh2uewd9hj7qglwaehxw309ahx7um5wgknqvewv3hhyctxv93hgmmj0yhx7un89uq37amnwvaz7tmwdaehgu3dxqezuer0wfskvctrw3hhy7fwdaexwtcprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuen0w4h8gctfdchxvmf0qywhwumn8ghj7ct8v4h8gmmjv9hxwefwdehhxarjxyhxxmmd9uqzqlh47xc4d6j7060ek7rl09gm95gp7auqv9n634ztz9rg5y8qlnf82hjm9m nostr:nprofile1qyvhwumn8ghj7urjv4kkjatd9ec8y6tdv9kzumn9wshsz9nhwden5te0dehhxarjv4kxjar9wvhx7un89uq3camnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwvf5hgcm0d9h8qctjdvhxxmmd9uq3xamnwvaz7tmhda6zuat50phjummwv5hszxnhwden5te0wdjkuerfwshxummnvekxzun99e3k7mf0qyt8wumn8ghj7am0wshxummnw3ezuurpwf68jtcqyr4w0m0aedulyv2h5xher9y4ge8yn2nk5gh954n8zj8jjmq4sk58jzjhzex nostr:nprofile1qqsq04ppqc5dzfk5p86fg08xu2stpnnhtzfu6fh9vv0vgp43qg8jvuc3kcg20
Nothing can beat the satisfaction of perfectly peeling the shell off an egg https://nostr.download/b8f6d8e7683c82a59b65c895c27dfcb0c7255167555ce487373844ca031587b9.webp
Pretty soon, posting pics of eggs (💰) will be more dangerous than bragging about how much bitcoin one has.
Our releases feature reproducible builds, meaning that you can build the release yourself and VERIFY that the release images are an EXACT bit-for-bit match to your result.
This means that we can't sneak secret code into a release. Our FOSS code and build process are out in the open for anyone to view and repeat.
And going forward, the major contributors will make our own attestations to verify the expected hashes. This further distributes the trust model if multiple sources are verifying the same results.
My personal attestation:
Compare the hashes against what's on the github release page:
https://github.com/SeedSigner/seedsigner/releases/download/0.8.5/seedsigner.0.8.5.sha256.txt
nostr:note1dc5yk2c27ltc0xm8ussdnnk20c7jq88ru4der35etez6rqk44f6sr8k4t7
Our releases feature reproducible builds, meaning that you can build the release yourself and VERIFY that the release images are an EXACT bit-for-bit match to your result.
This means that we can't sneak secret code into a release. Our FOSS code and build process are out in the open for anyone to view and repeat.
And going forward, the major contributors will make our own attestations to verify the expected hashes. This further distributes the trust model if multiple sources are verifying the same results.
My personal attestation:
Compare the hashes against what's on the github release page:
https://github.com/SeedSigner/seedsigner/releases/download/0.8.5/seedsigner.0.8.5.sha256.txt
Good lord, that's in Fahrenheit!
Trying to heat my house with only bitcoin miners this winter. Pretty amazed that they were able to keep up!
S19j Pro, two S19 Loki rigs, two S9s.
Bedroom is fine, though the rest of the house IS cold.
Here's Celcius so the rest of the world can appreciate this insanity.
The Terminator movies have been mostly meh or terrible, starting with the third one. "Dark Fate" made a pretty good earnest effort that was the best of the bunch. "Salvation" tried to be a more focused character study and I give it points for its ambitions.
Movies in general feel pretty doomed to me. Studios are too scared to do anything too original and so just do endless sequels and reboots.
That being said, the Predator franchise has been the worst of all of them, yet "Prey" managed to be pretty great.
Alien: Romulus
* Pretty good overall.
* Really great lead (Cailee Spaeny).
* Noticeably lower budget than you'd expect.
* Okay to meh to "bro..." special effects.
* COMICALLY TERRIBLE creature design ruins the finish.
The writer/director, Fede Alvarez, earnestly cares about his young characters and their development. Everything about the human side of his storytelling is pretty well done. He manages the small ensemble well, but Rain and her brother Andy deservingly take center stage, leaving a lot less time to develop the others.
Alvarez falls flat with his new facehugger behaviors. Too much cgi just sitting out in the open not being interesting or occasionally inching toward silly.
The digital Ian Holm is shockingly bad. I think my RTX 4070 will be able to do better AI video renders pretty soon.
I watched it on Disney+; if that was the "improved" version... good lord.
The final creature design is just indescribably bad and, worse, once again shot way too much right out in the open. OBSCURE YOUR F'N SCARY CREATURES, DIRECTORS!!!! Especially if you have an unforgivably bad/stupid creature design.
If you're too young to have seen / known about Alien: Resurrection (holy f that was 1997!! 👀) , it actually makes for a really interesting compare and contrast here.
https://i.nostr.build/JkLilDq1vSmdWdVr.webp
More stylized (deeply Frenchy infused -- for both better and worse -- by Jean-Pierre Jeunet), more confident, much more personality and flair throughout the ensemble (Joss Whedon is the master of creating characters and witty dialog). Darius Khondji is a MASTER cinematographer.
Resurrection is more comic book and brash vs Romulus' more rooted "real people" tone. Also suffers from bad creature design at the end, though Romulus' is so terrible that Resurrection's seems more reasonable in retrospect.
Romulus: more real people, more real moments. It's a pretty good human emotional drama wrapped within a good enough "Alien" movie.
Resurrection: Fails overall because Jeunet is just too Frenchy and, like Paul Verhoeven, I suspect it goes big and dumb because that's what he thinks of Americans. But he's such a good f'n filmmaker. Resurrection's impressive strengths and embarrassing weaknesses make it the more interesting film to study by far.
Had a bit of a scare last night.
9pm: nostr:nprofile1qqstwd7k7hyv5nf94v9zchtcwe6gyak529j0ah7tgjueudwrryj2d6ck96nw5 was at my sister's house, climbed onto the dining room table when no one was around. Helped herself to 2/3 of a bar of dark chocolate, a small bag of Hershey's Kisses, a whole bag of salmon treats.
She's gotten into this kind of mischief before, but this was the first time she was at real risk of toxic poisoning (chocolate, caffeine, and other ingredients can be life threatening to dogs).
I don't have kids and she's my first dog so this was my first "Oh shit, this could be bad" pseudo-parenting anxiety experience. I felt physically ill.
10pm: Tried giving her hydrogen peroxide to make her throw it up.
Pro tip: hydrogen peroxide loses its fizzle a few weeks(?) after a bottle is opened. So it did nothing.
10:30pm: Called Poison Control (LONG ass wait times, $95 service charge) and they said to just monitor her for certain warning signs. Okay, cool.
11pm: My sister realizes Kuma ALSO ate all the used tea leaves out of a tea strainer (wha... why?!!). More potential toxicity.
Called Poison Control back (LONG ass wait times): "get her to throw up or you'll have to take her to the ER."
Faaaakkk.
They suggested a bit of peanut butter in a bowl w/hydrogen peroxide. Said most dogs will happily slurp it all up.
11:30pm: Minor struggle to find a 24hr drug store to buy fresh hydrogen peroxide. Like wtf.
midnight: The peanut butter trick worked. They said to keep her active for 15 min to get the hydrogen peroxide foaming up in her stomach. Ran her around but her iron stomach is legendary. NOTHING. Literally shook her in my hands to get more jiggle and foaming going 🤣. Nothing.
12:30am: Called Poison Control back. LONG ass wait time. But while I was waiting, SHE FINALLY THREW UP! I've never been so happy to see vomit (so much vomit).
1:30am: Kuma and I finally got back home.
She actually snuggled with me most of the night (unusual for her).
Today: All is good.
Surprisingly - the bag of salmon treats contributed to one remaining risk factor I have to watch out for over the next 3 days: pancreatitis! 👀
Dogs are so well adapted to living with us that it's always surprising when a normal human thing (e.g. chocolate) is a real risk to them. Also weird that they so eagerly eat something that's so dangerous for them. Wtf Darwin?
Had a bit of a scare last night.
9pm: nostr:nprofile1qqstwd7k7hyv5nf94v9zchtcwe6gyak529j0ah7tgjueudwrryj2d6ck96nw5 was at my sister's house, climbed onto the dining room table when no one was around. Helped herself to 2/3 of a bar of dark chocolate, a small bag of Hershey's Kisses, a whole bag of salmon treats.
She's gotten into this kind of mischief before, but this was the first time she was at real risk of toxic poisoning (chocolate, caffeine, and other ingredients can be life threatening to dogs).
I don't have kids and she's my first dog so this was my first "Oh shit, this could be bad" pseudo-parenting anxiety experience. I felt physically ill.
10pm: Tried giving her hydrogen peroxide to make her throw it up.
Pro tip: hydrogen peroxide loses its fizzle a few weeks(?) after a bottle is opened. So it did nothing.
10:30pm: Called Poison Control (LONG ass wait times, $95 service charge) and they said to just monitor her for certain warning signs. Okay, cool.
11pm: My sister realizes Kuma ALSO ate all the used tea leaves out of a tea strainer (wha... why?!!). More potential toxicity.
Called Poison Control back (LONG ass wait times): "get her to throw up or you'll have to take her to the ER."
Faaaakkk.
They suggested a bit of peanut butter in a bowl w/hydrogen peroxide. Said most dogs will happily slurp it all up.
11:30pm: Minor struggle to find a 24hr drug store to buy fresh hydrogen peroxide. Like wtf.
midnight: The peanut butter trick worked. They said to keep her active for 15 min to get the hydrogen peroxide foaming up in her stomach. Ran her around but her iron stomach is legendary. NOTHING. Literally shook her in my hands to get more jiggle and foaming going 🤣. Nothing.
12:30am: Called Poison Control back. LONG ass wait time. But while I was waiting, SHE FINALLY THREW UP! I've never been so happy to see vomit (so much vomit).
1:30am: Kuma and I finally got back home.
She actually snuggled with me most of the night (unusual for her).
Today: All is good.