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rustyspark
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Replying to Avatar Lyn Alden

Losing someone young, or losing an older person while you are young, is always hard.

When my father passed away from cancer while I was in my early twenties, it wasn't surprising at all. This fact had been coming for two years, slowly. But when it came, it hurt just as bad. And till this day it still hurts.

I was at work and got a call; it was a hospital. They said my father had been suddenly transferred to hospice, and it wasn't looking good. He probably had a week at most. He was in another state. The doctor transferred my father to me on the phone and my father was weakly like, "hey...." and I said hello, and I said I'm coming now. He said, "No don't... uhh.... don't worry... you are far and have work... I'm fine...." I asked then why was he transferred to hospice if things were fine. He was like, "uh well... well you know.... uh.... it's fine...." And I was like, "holy shit I'm coming right now."

So I went to my boss and looked at him. I had previously told him that there might be a moment where I would have to just immediately leave without notice, no matter how important the meetings and such, because of my father. So in this moment I literally just looked at him in the middle of a busy day and was like, "I gotta go" and he was like "of course". So I drove there, two hours away and went straight there. My father weakly said on the phone not to go, but he never sounded like that, so I went immediately.

I got there, and my father was in a hospital in the death ward, and the guy who greeted me was a pastor rather than a nurse, which was not a great sign. I asked what was going on and he told me straight up that this was not good, that my father was likely dying within a week. So he brings me to my father. My father is barely awake. His memories and statements are all over the place, but I just hold his hand and tell him that it's fine and I love him. I'm just there. He kept fading out and I was like, "it's okay, just relax". He could see me and talk in a rough sentence or two and thanked me for coming, but started to fade away.

And then after like 30 minutes, he went fully unconscious. He was still roughly gripping and shaking the bed headboard and so forth but wasn't conscious (and I was like, "Are you all giving him the right pain medicines, this doesn't look good", and even the pastor was like, "yes I have seen many and this is not comfortable" and I was like an angry 23-year-old so I went out in the center area like, "what do all of you even fucking do here?! He is shaking the bedframe and looks in pain, and even the pastor agrees. Holy shit." So I went and got medical attention to deal with this, but felt slow and ineffective at this. They gave him more morphine and it calmed him down, but while it relaxed him, he ultimately didn't wake up again.

I spent the next couple hours there, and then left and called various family members for my second round when he was unmoving. I said if they want to see him, come now, in the next day or two.

But a little while later after I left, I got a call and was told he had died. Only I (and the nurses) saw him while he was still briefly conscious.

During that call itself, I was stoic. I was like, "Yes, I understand. Okay." and then hung up. And then I sat there for like five minutes in silence... and then cried. I got over it quickly and we did the funeral in the following days. My father had been struggling with cancer for years, so this wasn't fully surprising.

But what lingered was the memory. It has been 13 years now, and yet whenever I am in my depths I still think of my father. The memory never gets weaker. I think of his love, or I think of how attentive he was, or how accepting he was, or what he would say about my current problems.

People we love, live on through us. We remember them so vividly, and we are inspired by them.

If he was a lame father, he wouldn't have so many direct memories 13 years later. But because he was a good and close father, he does.

All of those memories are gifts. All of them are ways of keeping aspects of that person alive in our world. It's how we remember them in the decades that follow. Their victories, their losses, and everything in between. Virtues they quietly did that you find out later. Virtues you realize only in hindsight how big they were.

Thank you for sharing. I have lost some dear, dear friends, father figure mother figure brother figure. Not family, but I worry sometimes that I may not grieve some family as I have grieved these. Either for a sense of connectedness, or heaven forbid I become more calloused to loss as I get older. But even among close friendships, these deep connections form and then tear. Itโ€™s so hard to face them again after you have tried to continue on and away. Some loses are quick and unexpected: no notice, 12 hrs to process, another a slow fade over 6 months battle with cancer. No way is easier. But you are right. The memories are alive and precious and they live on in us. Each scar represents a gift to have had and lost and grown. Thanks again for sharing.

I thought about that. Something like X community notes feature but where Nostr folks who are not connected and who normally disagree, and here they agree - it can apply a filter label. And people can opt out of various content. NSFW, Explicit, Violent, Religious, Political, Investment, etc. But it would have to work like community notes concept or a few can sandbag someone into a commonly filtered category.

It happens in the movies all the time. The good guys and the bad guys do it. But it doesnโ€™t seem at all realistic. Even in one company itโ€™s expensive to ensure you purge all the info your required to. So many systems. On the flip side. If everyone knows your exact identity, there is no privacy or anonymity. This kind of seems opposite the model of simplex chat. Syncronized, Tokenized or local identity? They are somewhat in conflict - no?

Here is what another highly visual book Making Work Visible did. The author created an audio companion pdf. You could in your case put it behind some kind of paywall or something? I don't know. But having listened to the Audio bookm and reading on kindle - it was pretty hard to visualize this stuff until I accessed the companion. In fact i may have tried in kindle also. If memory serves me, even reading it on kindle was a pain as it was black and white instead of color and you can't zoom in. So in that case the pdf companion was also useful.

Book:

https://itrevolution.com/product/making-work-visible/

Readers guide

https://itrevolution.com/product/readers-guide-making-work-visible/

visual companion

https://itrevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/MWV_audio-pdf_101617_r1_download-size.pdf

Replying to Avatar carte

nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m once said that bitcoin feels like the early internet. That's how nostr feels to me. There is a different vibe than every social media platform. People on here are excited, hopeful, passionate, and kind. Much like the early internet, positivity heavily outweighs negativity.

Different take on the old adage. If you build it, they will come - and defecate all over it eventually.

Replying to Avatar UNCLE ROCKSTAR

Honestly, I think all that is needed here is to start using https://github.com/ArcadeLabsInc/arcade and support nostr:npub1tlv67m7xvlyplzexuynmfpguvyet0sjffce3y8vu0suuyuwgzauqjk7fdm and team as they make improvements to the app leveraging Nostr protocol.

The biggest problem for Arcade right now is that once you install it - there isn't much to do - one active channel over there would be a great start.

But if Chat gpt requires your IP than does it defeat the anonymity of Nostr?

Replying to Avatar rabble

Maybe nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m and talk Elon in to giving him twitter.com since heโ€™s no longer using it. The original twitter domain was registered by Jack as twttr.com before twitter.com was purchased. I forget if it was $15,000 or $25,000 for the vowels.

We could then relaunch twitter as a protocol not a platform. :)

Didn't nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m say twitter wants to be free? Maybe this is how?