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Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

Are we now zap-able? Show me love! Long live the Alberta Republic!

In the advent of AI... Is college irrelevant and obsolete?

Did you tell everyone in attendance this on Saturday?

Sure

GM Nostr!

A Harvest of Gratitude and Grit: This Thanksgiving, Let's Think #Alberta First

As the leaves turn golden and the crisp autumn air fills our lungs, Albertans gather around tables laden with the fruits of our labor, or, for far too many, a stark reminder of how federal folly has thinned those plates. Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday; it's a sacred pause to give thanks for God's abundant provision, rooted in the Christian values that built this land: humility, stewardship, and unbreakable community. But in 2025, with food bank lines stretching longer than ever, our gratitude must fuel resolve. At the Alberta Prosperity Project (APP), we're calling for a "Think Alberta" movement, one that honors our heritage while charting a path to independence, where prosperity isn't Ottawa's handout, but our own hard-won harvest.

From Bounty to Struggle: The Food Bank Crisis Ottawa Ignored

Alberta's prairies have long been a breadbasket of blessing, golden fields of wheat waving like prayers answered, rivers teeming with promise. Yet, this Thanksgiving, over 174,000 Albertans turned to food banks in the first half of 2025 alone, a staggering 90% surge since 2019, according to Food Banks Canada's latest Poverty Report Card. That's not just numbers; it's families, hardworking ranchers, oilfield families, and young parents, choosing between groceries and gas because of sky-high inflation and federal carbon taxes that choke our economy. In Calgary and Edmonton, child visits to food banks hit 63,000 last year, with projections for 2025 pushing even higher as the cost of living bites deeper.

This isn't God's plan for abundance; it's the fruit of centralized control that starves the provinces it claims to serve. Remember the Christian call to "love thy neighbor"? When Ottawa's policies force our neighbors to queue for charity, it's a betrayal of that command. But Alberta's spirit endures, volunteers baking bread, neighbors sharing surplus, echoing the early settlers' faith-fueled fortitude.

Think Alberta: Reclaiming Our Table, One Local Bite at a Time

Gratitude starts at home, and this Thanksgiving, let's make it Alberta-strong. Ditch the imported imports and fill your plate with what our soil and stewardship have yielded:

#Taber Corn and #Prairie Proud Produce: Nothing beats the sweet snap of corn from Taber's sun-kissed fields, a testament to Alberta farmers' ingenuity across the south. Pair it with hearty spuds from the Peace Country or berries from the foothills; every kernel supports families who weather droughts and federal red tape with unyielding resolve.

Grass-Fed #Beef and Bison from the Heartland: Our ranchers raise the world's finest, hormone-free meats, grill a steak from Highwood Crossing or a roast from the Battle River Valley. It's not just dinner; it's defiance against supply chain strangleholds that ship our jobs overseas.

Artisan Breads and Cheeses from Community Makers: From Edmonton's Old Strathcona bakeries to Calgary's urban farms, local loaves and wheels of aged cheddar embody the neighborly love Christ taught, baked with hands that build our communities.

Buying local isn't trendy; it's biblical stewardship, tending the garden God gave us (Genesis 2:15) while bolstering an economy that keeps dollars in Alberta pockets. In 2025, with federal deficits ballooning to $62 billion, every loonie spent at the farmers' market is a vote for self-reliance.

Pillars of Prosperity: Building on Faith-Founded Foundations

"Think Alberta" goes beyond the table, it's a blueprint for independence, woven with the Christian values that undergird our identity:

Banking with Integrity: Shift from big-bank bailouts to Alberta credit unions like Servus or Connect First, community-owned institutions that prioritize people over profits, echoing Proverbs 22:1: "A good name is more desirable than great riches." No more Ottawa-mandated fees draining our savings; local banking means capital stays here, fueling family farms and startups.

An #Economy of Abundance: Alberta's resources – oil, gas, agriculture – could generate $100 billion annually if unshackled from equalization grabs. Independence means tax freedom, job creation, and food security, turning food bank desperation into overflowing larders. As stewards of God's creation, we'll innovate green tech on our terms, not Trudeau's or Carney's enviro-communist mandates.

Education Rooted in Truth: From homeschool co-ops teaching biblical stewardship to trade schools honing hands-on skills, Alberta #education should celebrate our heritage – not federal indoctrination. Instill gratitude through history lessons on our pioneer faith, economics classes on local enterprise, and values that honor the Creator over the state. Christian foundations aren't optional; they're the bedrock of resilient kids who'll harvest tomorrow's bounty.

These pillars aren't abstract, they're APP's core: decentralized power, economic sovereignty, and moral clarity to ensure no Albertan goes hungry while Ottawa feasts.

A Call to Thanksgiving Action: Harvest Hope for Independence

This October 13, as you bow heads in thanks, lift your voice too. God has blessed Alberta richly; now, let's claim it fully.

Shop and Share Local: Hit the markets, support Alberta makers – and if you're able, donate to food banks with a "Think Alberta" twist: stock shelves with homegrown goods.

Join the Movement: Sign our petition for Alberta independence at www.albertaprosperity.com – over 50,000 strong and growing.

Educate and Elevate: Host a "Think Alberta" dinner – discuss policies, pray for provision, plan for freedom. Download our full platform here.

Contact Your MLA: Demand provincial rebates on food costs and a food sovereignty strategy, send them an email.

In the words of Psalm 107: "He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water." Alberta, our desert of dependency ends with us. This Thanksgiving, give thanks, then get to work. Together, we'll reap a harvest of true prosperity.

For Alberta's Future,

The Alberta Prosperity Project Team

www.albertaprosperity.com