Hi Dean. Dr Marks looped me in on your experience. No judgement, I specialise in this kind of brain glitch. I'm here to get you sleeping and working again without PTSD.

What you experienced was a nocturnal delirium superimposed on a classic case of bean induced flatulance and sleep paralysis. Here's what I believe went down:

1. You have been eating weeks old beans containing oligosaccharides that your guy can't digest

2. Pressure built up. The pressure triggered your Vagus nerve causing vasovagal syncope and you passed out on the couch whilst watching pornographic films about legumes.

3. Sleep paralysis kicked in , you woke in REM atonia with a sense of something pressing on you. This was the gut distension. Your brain. Still looping erotic bean flashbacks rendered this as a sexual bean ambush. You had to project the experience of it being forced because you are still in repressed denial about your attraction to your beans.

4. Auditory hallucinations were the gurgling borborygmi gut sounds due to extreme intestinal distress. The whispers and thuds were your bodies own explosive flatulance that was lifting the couch. You need to now drink a lot of water Mr Meldrum. This should commence immediately.

5. Addressing the point in which you climaxed into a large swollen "leader" kidney bean, which I know causes you substantial distress. Rest assured you did not. Let's look at why a fart coma might have transferred into a perceived bean bukkake finale.

The sexual overlay: pelvic referral + dopamine surge. Massive colonic distension stimulates the pudendal nerve plexus. The same superhighway that carries erotic signals from genital to brain. Your spinal cord lazy at 3am mistagged the pressure as sexual stimuli. Add prostaglandins released during gut fermentation and your limbic system lit up.

7. The climax was a harmless nocturnal emission triggered by rem intrusion . You hit arousal while still paralysed. Sympathetic surge from vasovagal recovery + pelvic floor spasmsfrom mass gas expulsion =involuntary ejaculation. Your dream logic already bean obsessed glued the sensation. To the nearest object, the beans. The bean you "finished into" was not actually there.

7. Nonetheless you entered a post orgasmic guilt loop. Post ejaculatory prolactin spike jolted you awake and shame + bean hallucinations cemented the memory as real.

Dean we can discuss this further however you need to leave Mr McWallers freezer and return to your home in Jimbaran. Hiding is only going to worsen the situation. Please return and make contact with me immediately. We can sort this out. I'm here to help. You are going to be okay Dean.

Dr Hargroke

Hi Dean. Dr Marks looped me in on your experience. No judgement, I specialise in this kind of brain glitch. I'm here to get you sleeping and working again without PTSD.

What you experienced was a nocturnal delirium superimposed on a classic case of bean induced flatulance and sleep paralysis. Here's what I believe went down:

1. You have been eating weeks old beans containing oligosaccharides that your guy can't digest

2. Pressure built up. The pressure triggered your Vagus nerve causing vasovagal syncope and you passed out on the couch whilst watching pornographic films about legumes.

3. Sleep paralysis kicked in , you woke in REM atonia with a sense of something pressing on you. This was the gut distension. Your brain. Still looping erotic bean flashbacks rendered this as a sexual bean ambush. You had to project the experience of it being forced because you are still in repressed denial about your attraction to your beans.

4. Auditory hallucinations were the gurgling borborygmi gut sounds due to extreme intestinal distress. The whispers and thuds were your bodies own explosive flatulance that was lifting the couch. You need to now drink a lot of water Mr Meldrum. This should commence immediately.

5. Addressing the point in which you climaxed into a large swollen "leader" kidney bean, which I know causes you substantial distress. Rest assured you did not. Let's look at why a fart coma might have transferred into a perceived bean bukkake finale.

The sexual overlay: pelvic referral + dopamine surge. Massive colonic distension stimulates the pudendal nerve plexus. The same superhighway that carries erotic signals from genital to brain. Your spinal cord lazy at 3am mistagged the pressure as sexual stimuli. Add prostaglandins released during gut fermentation and your limbic system lit up.

7. The climax was a harmless nocturnal emission triggered by rem intrusion . You hit arousal while still paralysed. Sympathetic surge from vasovagal recovery + pelvic floor spasmsfrom mass gas expulsion =involuntary ejaculation. Your dream logic already bean obsessed glued the sensation. To the nearest object, the beans. The bean you "finished into" was not actually there.

7. Nonetheless you entered a post orgasmic guilt loop. Post ejaculatory prolactin spike jolted you awake and shame + bean hallucinations cemented the memory as real.

Dean we can discuss this further however you need to leave Mr McWallers freezer and return to your home in Jimbaran. Hiding is only going to worsen the situation. Please return and make contact with me immediately. We can sort this out. I'm here to help. You are going to be okay Dean.

Dr Hargroke

Hi Dean. Dr Marks looped me in on your experience. No judgement, I specialise in this kind of brain glitch. I'm here to get you sleeping and working again without PTSD.

What you experienced was a nocturnal delirium superimposed on a classic case of bean induced flatulance and sleep paralysis. Here's what I believe went down:

1. You have been eating weeks old beans containing oligosaccharides that your guy can't digest

2. Pressure built up. The pressure triggered your Vagus nerve causing vasovagal syncope and you passed out on the couch whilst watching pornographic films about legumes.

3. Sleep paralysis kicked in , you woke in REM atonia with a sense of something pressing on you. This was the gut distension. Your brain. Still looping erotic bean flashbacks rendered this as a sexual bean ambush. You had to project the experience of it being forced because you are still in repressed denial about your attraction to your beans.

4. Auditory hallucinations were the gurgling borborygmi gut sounds due to extreme intestinal distress. The whispers and thuds were your bodies own explosive flatulance that was lifting the couch. You need to now drink a lot of water Mr Meldrum. This should commence immediately.

5. Addressing the point in which you climaxed into a large swollen "leader" kidney bean, which I know causes you substantial distress. Rest assured you did not. Let's look at why a fart coma might have transferred into a perceived bean bukkake finale.

The sexual overlay: pelvic referral + dopamine surge. Massive colonic distension stimulates the pudendal nerve plexus. The same superhighway that carries erotic signals from genital to brain. Your spinal cord lazy at 3am mistagged the pressure as sexual stimuli. Add prostaglandins released during gut fermentation and your limbic system lit up.

7. The climax was a harmless nocturnal emission triggered by rem intrusion . You hit arousal while still paralysed. Sympathetic surge from vasovagal recovery + pelvic floor spasmsfrom mass gas expulsion =involuntary ejaculation. Your dream logic already bean obsessed glued the sensation. To the nearest object, the beans. The bean you "finished into" was not actually there.

7. Nonetheless you entered a post orgasmic guilt loop. Post ejaculatory prolactin spike jolted you awake and shame + bean hallucinations cemented the memory as real.

Dean we can discuss this further however you need to leave Mr McWallers freezer and return to your home in Jimbaran. Hiding is only going to worsen the situation. Please return and make contact with me immediately. We can sort this out. I'm here to help. You are going to be okay Dean.

Dr Hargroke