The exhausted father who was watching like MI6....
A client came to me last week. Professional. Caring father. Doing everything right on the surface.
But his body was systematically breaking down:
Chronic exhaustion no amount of sleep could fix
Heart arrhythmias appearing after drinking
Eyesight deteriorating
Needing alcohol just to "switch off"
When I checked his system, I found what I expected at the physical level: iron excess, testosterone crashed, digestive system weak, circulation slowed to a crawl.
But here's what fascinated me...
Every single thing he talked about connected to one word.
The entitled kids have no awareness (made him furious) His father taught without awareness it wouldn't work (source of deep frustration) He overthinks everything (too much awareness) People at restaurants with zero awareness (triggered rants) His fear of losing eyesight (fear of losing awareness itself)
This client loves a rant which is a little harder to follow but I was locked in in following the pattern.
Then I saw it clearly.
His entire nervous system was running hyper vigilance protocols 24/7 - constant surveillance of reality, monitoring everything, missing nothing. MI6 would be proud.
The unconscious belief driving his system: "Safety equals being aware of everything. Danger equals lack of awareness."
The cruel irony?
The "entitled" people he resented - the ones living with no awareness - they had exactly what he unconsciously wanted: freedom from the exhausting burden of total vigilance.
And the alcohol? It wasn't just an escape. It was the only way he could temporarily step off the awareness wheel and feel free.
Let me show you what was really happening...
His father was stationed in post-WWII Germany. Saw devastation. Prostitution. Suffering beyond words. Carried crushing guilt about British celebration while Germans starved.
This created a generational pattern that downloaded into his system:
Cannot celebrate without awareness of others' suffering
Must be aware of the "cost" of everything
Guilt around enjoying anything
Deep resentment toward those who aren't burdened with this awareness
Here's the physical manifestation:
Fear literally attracts iron - I can test this energetically. The iron excess was lowering his testosterone. Constant cortisol from hypervigilance was burning through his mineral reserves. His digestive system weakened from chronic fear. Circulation slowed because he was unconsciously trying to "slow down to be more aware."
Even his eyes were exhausted from decades of surveillance.
His body was faithfully executing survival code written by a brilliant child who learned: "If I'm not aware of EVERYTHING, something terrible will happen."
What I did during the session:
I showed him the pattern playing out. Cleared the anger stored in his liver. Strengthened his digestive system. Increased his circulation speed.
But the real work?
Becoming aware of his over-awareness.
This is the paradox that dissolves the pattern: The only way to escape excessive awareness is to become aware that you're being excessively aware.
We had a good laugh at this. 😂
Then you can observe it. Catch it, and in doing so (this is key)… Let it go.
Not through alcohol. Not through numbing. Through conscious observation of the program running.
By the end of the session, his stomach immediately felt better. His entire system started switching back on.
Because he could finally see the wheel he'd been running for decades.
His inner child was brilliant - hyper vigilance kept him safe when the world felt dangerous. But that four-year-old programmer didn't know the war was over.
If you recognise this pattern - the hyper vigilance, the exhaustion from trying to see everything, the resentment toward people who seem blissfully unaware - you're likely running the same wheel.
It's what I call the Lack/Gain of Awareness wheel. One of five hamster wheels I've mapped over 30 years of working with elite performers who are systematically destroying themselves through childhood survival programming.
I can show you exactly which wheel you're running and how to step off it.
In a 60-minute session, I'll map your specific pattern - the childhood origin, how it manifests physically, and the observation practice that dissolves it. No generic advice. Just surgical precision based on what your system reveals.
If you're ready to see what's running your system try a session with me.
Rob
P.S. Those entitled people who trigger you? They're not your enemy. They're showing you what your body is begging for: permission to exist without being the awareness police of the entire universe. Your nervous system is exhausted from running surveillance protocols that were designed for a threat that no longer exists.
