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I would sooner eat broken glass chased with gasoline than star in something called "Love and Gasoline." World's shittiest reality show. Not even for God and/or Country.
I think... dinner, instead. I'm gonna ask him on a date.
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But those are some of the most hilarious dates ever.
There's a certain grace to the knowing glance of admonishment from the tiny Korean lady who I've known since I was ten years old, while dudebro is trying to speak broken Japanese to a tiny, no bullshit, little Korean lady who would rather be backing over him with her Mercedes.
If that guy at the petrol station keeps flirting and wearin' them shorts like that, something really fun for both of us is gonna happen behind that counter, on camera, before God and Country.
If that guy at the petrol station keeps flirting and wearing wearin' them shorts like that, something really fun for both of us is gonna happen behind that counter, on camera, before God and Country.
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And then they want a freakin' award for it...
Idiots!
What kind of country even is this if we cant get a little skiied up before lighting the grill?
Say "soggy bread salad" to me one single time.
I dare you.
#Food #Cooking #CheffingItUp
Say "soggy bread salad" to me one time.
I dare you.
My dad is kind of exhausting.
Well, ma father murdered the snake.
I tried to explain to him that it's not really appropriate to go around murdering things that don't fit discreetly into his world view and he just got loud at me, so I walked away.
Not today, Satan!
Our dude here got pretty bold before he, realizing he was hopelessly outmatched, beat a hasty retreat into the woods.
They're not usually so bold as to come so close to the house. This guy was bold, too. Must be hungry.
I fuckin' hate copperheads.
They're blue because I'm cold.
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I ain't even the business end of the hog, either!
I have too much shit to do.
God can wait.
I have too much shit to do.
Got can wait.
I'm skipping Mass this morning.
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We were gonna be forever, too. It sucks.
Then I had to dump him in a Barbecue Hut Parking Lot on Bragg Boulevard and call his Dad to come get him because Smacky Brewster ain't my type, regardless of how tall.
Michael does not play with that bullshit. Not even for ten seconds.
The surgeon sent him home with Dilaudid.
The beginning of the end.
So, after about a dozen years, he was on this oyster kick. Eating them like I eat Haribo. it was gross.
One morning (eew) he put one of my best knives straight through a bad oyster (grossness gets more gross) and right down to the bone in his left index finger.
Lot of blood.
I got him into the car immedaitely and took him to the hospital.
Dilaudid.
They gave him dilaudid.
I'm a big fan of the stuff, myself. In very carefully medically supervised situations.