You have 3 relays in your, I am able to connect to two of them (not the "21" one).

You have at least 7 contact lists out in the wild on various relays.

On those two relays you do use, you only have a very old contacts event from June 1st 2024, containing 888 pubkeys.

So if you login to a Nostr client, you either have an very updated contact list on the relay I cannot connect to, or you're "stuck back" in 2024.

As the screenshot below shows, 888 is your very old list of following.

Do you use some Nostr clients which has their own relay management and doesn't rely on the NP-65 (kind 10002)?

https://mibo.eu.nostria.app/057c263fdbedaf02586f89417396973c3a43d756b1bb4db503566a4e73131266.webp

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Also not a single one of the following lists you have on other relays, was updated in December 2025. So the changes you've made was probably not published anywhere.

Got any tips for which client can help clean up the mess?

I think the problem is that you are not on an optimized set of relays.

On Primal I see these three:

nos.lol

relay.azzamo.net

relay.primal.net

On Damus I also see:

nostr.mutinywallet.com

relay.nostr.band

The Mutiny relay has been down for a long time, and the nostr.band relay is not known for reliability.

You’re really going to need to upgrade to a couple of paid relays with more reach.

Look into nostr.land or nostr.wine, and maybe a few others that can give you more coverage.

How can I fetch the latest relay / follow list and force push it on more relays?

My daily driver is Amethyst, the relay list is up to date there.

When you sign into PvZ do you see different relays in your settings page? If it’s not a close match it means your NIP-65 relay list isn’t being broadcast by your client. You can enter them manually and try a republish and see if that improved things.

Try adding wss://sendit.nosflare.com as a broadcast relay. That will broadcast your events to a lot of relays. Then follow or unfollow someone.

One other thing to keep in mind is if your follow list is fairly large (above 800) some relays (especially strfry with the default settings) will silently reject your follow list updates due to the size of the data payload.

Hard coded maximums like this are very stupid...

Can we fix that?

This may ve a good thread to ask an (somewhat unrelated) question: my relay kept crashing (strfry) and I‘ like to have another go at it: which relay software do you recommend (I have ample resources)?

It's a configuration value. nostr:nprofile1qqsdr0fnxvmn8hxyz8cwazfm8zu9yt7qmc38ll69nkvsgn8dnej4sxckxm0xe relays has been configured to allow 512 KB events. That ought to be enough for anyone 🤙😂

We should do a wave of PRs to all relay implementation that tops up the default.

Yes! The relay now allows events up to 262144 bytes (256 KiB) (4× the previous limit)

Thanks!

You’re welcome! Will that be enough for your use case?

Wishing you a wonderful New Year ⚡

Seems to be good! Can you verify my connection?

Everything seems fine, however you’ve currently run out of premium time. You can top up at https://dashboard.azzamo.net

.

Note: we don’t track individual relay connections, so we can’t verify specific users, but once topped up you should be able to connect and publish without issues.

Sweet, I was holding off on that because I was getting connection issues before, probably because of my follow list size. Now that’s fixed, so I’m paid up for the year.

One thing you should check is how these amounts are displayed, looks like there’s an extra zero coming from somewhere. 😉

Welcome back! Thanks a lot for your trust and support 🙏🫡

Happy to hear the connection issues are sorted and that you’re now paid up for the year. And thanks for pointing out the numbers, the minutes shown are just the time duration, not sats, but we totally get how that can look confusing at first glance and we’ll improve how this is presented.

Feel free to reach out anytime if you have more questions or ideas on how we can improve. Happy holidays and a happy New Year 🎉✨

Oh, haha…I hadn’t had my coffee yet. Yeah, not used to seeing a user represented by 525,600 minutes, but now that annoyingly catchy song from Rent comes to mind…

https://youtu.be/hj7LRuusFqo

*year not user #typostr #forevertypo

NoteToMyself: remember this relay!

primal-ish behaviour