Hello stackers!
We now have a little rascal since couple weeks back - and so my question is - what resources do you recommend for a new dad and for a newborn child?
What helped you the most, what have you watched, read or done that was great? Anything that would help?
Read aloud to them, with them. Kind of miss those days. Good luck Sir and enjoy the ride!!
Nap zap ⚡️
nostr:npub1e2rd2k45ym2jmctnysfadxumrvrr57vqj69ck6trt2y62c40r0kqs9lx8t and my baby enjoys whistling a lot, it can get her to calm down a little bit when she’s sad.
Do not let them sleep in your bed, they will never leave. I take the night shift and will sleep in their bed, on a couch, or on a spare bed. Be Next to them.
Also baby-led weaning. At 6mo
Above everything, you have a tiny human suddenly, there is a new schedule, new highs, new lows, no sleep, and no sleep. Sleep deprivation is hard and you are only in the trenches for ~3 years she's on your team cut both of yourselves some slack.
Rest when you can.
Keep the long game in mind; the crying and needing you incessantly is only for a short while in the grand scheme of things.
No shame in walking around at night with a podcast in your headphones if baby is having a hard time sleeping (I wore a circle around our island with two of ours doing this).
Take care of your spouse. Find someone to come hold the baby for an hour while you guys get a cup of tea or grab a bite to eat alone.
Every baby is different, every day is different. I have friends with little ones who are trying to figure out the equation of a+b=happy and calm baby and it’s just not realistic. Go with the flow, every day will have its unique ups and downs. A little grin will give you enough energy for a week.
Soak the snuggles up! Congrats to you both, and welcome little one 💜
Put both kid to sleep gently listening to music walking back & forth. 29 steps for a full circuit in the old house.
And Congratulations
I'm actually horrified how many people here tell you to train the baby not to rely on you with their emotions. Sleep training is a way of torture, own room as well. But I'm not interested in discussions in a thread like this. If you wanted to go more natural with the baby, DM me. Good luck🫡
Things that work for us and I would recommend:
Look into how to cosleep safely.
Breastfeed if you can and nurse to sleep. Have a plan for what you’ll do if you cannot breastfeed.
Have a bassinet beside the bed for when you CAN transfer the baby there if you want to. We put ours there whenever we think she can get to sleep there, and she often does, more and more often.
Sometimes a baby rouses from sleep just enough to cry a little bit, then goes back to sleep. Most of the time, if they’re crying, they need something.
Have a pump and, if you can, store at least enough milk at all times for a few meals. I had a medical emergency shortly after giving birth and it was very good that I had a stored milk supply so my in-laws were able to feed my child breastmilk while I received medical attention.
Take it easy on yourselves. BUT:
Get out and about, back to your routine as soon as you can without pushing yourselves, and bring the baby everywhere with you. Let them learn from watching you and learn to fall asleep anywhere, even in the middle of noisy gatherings.
Learn what is in vaccines, the history vs. current practice of vaccines, decide what you’d like to do, and find a pediatrician who will support your decision. A list of vaccine-flexible pediatricians is accessible through this site https://drgreenmom.com/find-a-vaccine-friendly-doctor/ and if you choose to vaccinate at all, a website with ingredients is https://vaccines.procon.org/vaccine-ingredients-and-manufacturer-information/
Mothers lose many minerals during pregnancy. Replenishing them postpartum is a good idea.
I overheard once (and did no follow up research, so grain of salt) that selenium deficiency may contribute to postpartum depression, so starting in the third trimester, I’ve been eating Brazil nuts even though I HATE them 😂 you have to be careful not to eat too many, though.
Babies don’t smile for about the first month of life! I didn’t know this and felt better knowing I wasn’t a horrible mom, the only one whose baby was always either sad or asleep 😂
Sometimes babies will rouse from sleep enough to cry just a little, then go back to sleep. Other times they will keep crying because they need something. You’ll learn how to tell.
1 is NOT the smallest size diaper 😂 get newborn diapers!!
Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Your lifestyle needs to remain practical or you will burn out.
Don’t let people scare, guilt, or annoy you. People will come out of the woodwork with advice and truisms that may go counter to your whole worldview or be just plain silly. Listen to as much as you wish, but trust yourself to make good decisions and remember it’s not their baby and it doesn’t really matter what they think. Me included 😉
White noise from a Bluetooth speaker made a huge difference for our daughter when it came to sleeping. It’s not bulletproof but it worked by keeping her quiet and sleeping for relatively long periods of time. Now we never use it and she sleeps all through the night.
Just do your best to keep him alive.
Try and nap during the day, when the newborn is sleeping
