Replying to Avatar Mallory

All the women I know talk about how the bar is so low for men it’s in hell. If a woman says anything dudes just chime in with maybe you should lower your standards. I see so many dudes complaining about dating and being single but never looking in the mirror. Granted women are guilty of that too. I’ve spent significant amounts of time single. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t get offers but they were terrible. When I would try apps at least half or more of the responses were guys telling me I had dudes falling all over themselves for me and they weren’t going to be one of them. I just felt like so many guys were telling themselves the story that they couldn’t get the girl so they ended up doing things to sabotage themselves.
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Cameri🐦‍🔥 2y ago

I see what you are saying. What’s the standard though? If you turn on YouTube to a channel, which I admit is not representative of the entire population, in general what is said is that the standard for women is the Three Six Men which basically eliminates a majority of the male population if you apply it to the most recent US census.

Some doing quick napkin math will realize you can’t match 1 to 1 to say 20% of men to say 80% of women, who are both active in the sexual market, just with the Three Six Men standard.

On the other side, most men have not changed their own standard of wanting a Traditional Woman. These are declining in numbers rapidly too, which further complicates matching and forming couples.

Both men and women are increasingly becoming less attractive to the opposite sex.

There’s societal consequences for keeping these same old standards and not adjusting to the modern age.

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Katie 2y ago

I’ll admit, I’m not familiar with the Three Six Men standard, so maybe I’ll have to educate myself on what’s being said 😅 but I agree that the standards and expectations must evolve. I don’t think the answer is lowering them, but redefining them and listening to each other. Now… I want to preface that with the idea that I’m not sure matching is the end all be all goal for everyone. I don’t think marriage is virtuous for the sake of marriage, personally. And being single as a choice is perfectly valid, IMO. But of those wanting to be “matched”, I think it’s important to be willing to understand that people are human and growth/change and grace is part of any human-human relationship. I also don’t think anyone is entitled to a match. And I think that sense entitlement is what breeds resentment and honestly just gets in the way of actual human connection.

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Mallory 2y ago

I am not familiar with the three six men theory and quickly trying to look it up on YouTube didn’t really yield anything. But I’m not familiar with these mythical ideal men that the majority of women are sharing.

I mean there was this dude in San Francisco back in the day who a lot of women had slept with but they all talked about him like he was a SF newbie mistake. To the point I’d hear women meet a woman who just moved to San Francisco and warning her about this dude felt like part of the welcome packet. Personally I’d hope the average guy was aiming for quality not quantity. Didn’t want to be multiple women’s mistake.

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Cameri🐦‍🔥 2y ago

Hehe sorry this is what I meant: 6 feet tall, 6 inch 🍆, 6 figures income. I haven’t read your note yet but wanted to clarify this bit.

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Mallory 2y ago

Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.

Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.

I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.

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Mallory 2y ago

Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.

Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.

I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.

Avatar
Mallory 2y ago

Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.

Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.

I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.

Avatar
Mallory 2y ago

Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.

Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.

I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.

Avatar
Mallory 2y ago

Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.

Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.

I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.

Avatar
Katie 2y ago

Tbh… woman being empowered to have their own careers actually enables men with different qualities to be desirable. I think this will take some time to fully be reflected in societal expectations… but men don’t have to have their core value be defined by so significantly based on how much they earn. That is something that both partners are able to offer each other in moderation. I think this transition is confusing on both sides - men are trying to be attractive using an out of date playbook and women are having to also deal with the struggles of the gap between what they actually want vs what society says they should want.