Good morning ✌️🧡
Real question, how have y'all on #nostr dealt with toxic people in your life? #asknostr
It's been on my mind lately because I have cut several people out of my life and am in the process of pulling back from a couple right now. The weird thing for me is that in the process of determining whether someone is toxic, I'll end up contemplating whether I'm actually the one at fault. I was wondering if other people have had the same experience.
Same here. As long as you know you did your best for them then don’t hold on to those toxic people. You deserve to live happily!
GM
I think one of the best things about being an adult is the power to choose who you associate with. I have not been shy about cutting people out of my life and have done so on multiple occasions.
It's good to stop and reflect though, you never know when you might be a contributing factor. My only rule of thumb is that once I cut ties there's no looking back, so I tend to wait until I'm overwhelmingly sure.
Thank you 🙏
I also don't want to burn a bridge until I know for sure that it must be done. I take these things pretty slowly, but cutting them out is on the horizon. At least just limiting the amount I see them to start.
Good Morning
Have a nice day 🫂
A thoughtful, non narcissistic individual always checks themselves first. It is healthy. Your ultimate atonement is the reward and release from toxicity. Does it cause pause? Sure, it is painful to grow beyond our restraining, earlier skins. Bless you for the attempt!
Thank you for saying that 🙏
I love the hard road of self reflection, and in this case, it will be better for me to take the step back and take back my time and energy and learn how not to end up here in the future.
You’re welcome and my pleasure.
My maid-of-honor, from my wedding, is one of those of whom I have long had doubts, yet loyalty is a strength of mine, and so I overlooked and forgave for too long. Little niggling negativities from her. Once I became substance free for several years, I saw the chain of mud-dragging episodes by her. Today, I release her, and still care for her, whose son is my godson, and remain just outside her immediate orbit. It is refreshing to see our relationship from a position of autonomy, not co-dependency.
It's amazing what relief you feel when you shift your mindset from codependency to independency. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better a little further away from your friend.
I can recognize that I'll go out of my way to help such people through their endless problems despite the fact that there's never any improvement. New problems always crop up and previous lessons go unlearned. It's hard for me to turn my back to someone I've helped so much, but I have to look and see that nothing will change.
Yes. You gave a responsibility to yourself first. My mother, so wise, answered in response to my idealistic desire to help a charity though at that stage of life I had no extra energy, time, or resources, “Darling, you must first take care of yourself, before you can fully care for others.”
good morning! Just trying to enjoy the beauties of life!! no place for toxic people
Bless you 🙏
Toxic people are alluring and before I knew it, several times in my life I've been caught up in their friendship. I have to learn not to be friends out of convenience, but though shared experience and values.
GM ☕🧡
gm 🙂
It’s a tough question. A few thoughts:
The effort to spend in repairing the relationship should be proportionate to the length of time you’ve known them.
If there was a change in their personality, consider that they may be suffering from the crises over the last few years.
Sometimes giving them some space can allow any hurt feelings to simmer down. You can always check in from time to time to let them know you’re around and thinking of them.
This is a great perspective, thank you 🙏
There are a couple people I'm friends with, who I was referring to in the OP, that I've known were pretty incompatible with me for a long, long time, more than a decade. But only recently have we become closer just out of convenience if a mutual friend. But that base incompatibility is making itself known again, and it's time to set convenience side and make the mature decision to scale back and be closer to acquaintances rather than close, personal friends.
