can actually share a real anecdote so gonna,
1. i research heavy
2. i ~listen~ arguably sometimes too much
ok, so in my travels ive taken in a lot like an anthropologist and ethnographer on love, on twin flames, on limerence, on anima/animus jungian possession, on fringe theories like is it possible that a later stage discovery of my own masculine identity can be considered a psyche terrain that overlaps with animus-kidnapping, etc
a lot of people have shared a lot with me.
im talking: having a twin flame event while married destroyed my marriage, having a twin flame event sent me to the mental hospital, i got on medication, i left my whole career, i transitioned and then detransitioned, shut down my business, had to flee the country, i had someone limerence on me so hard but i wasnt gay and was married, too, and even with all the terminology there are certain moments i still cant explain, etc
like ~alot~ spent a lot of time, people have given me a lot of time, in person and on the phone with me
i have ignored some advice, for sure
but more often than not, ive listened
and i especially have listened when i can hear the truth of a very real warning said straight to me for my ears and i heard it
which was, and this was years ago, exactly this
as in, if you continue to dedicate all of your energy this way, you must give equal energy to the anticipated drop
as in, jung was like (heavy paraphrasing) have a limerence thing? nothing ends and disillusions limerence like mundane reality. just get to know them. like mist evaporating in morning light, like an oasis that was just a mirage, so seriously prepare to be disappointed cos it isnt ~them~ baby it's you
and you can know that from the get
can have it from the start
can know it
then can know know it
then can know know know it
then can know know know know it
and still be like
yea but
No And But
yea but
Not And But
yea but
tho
like ok totally disappoint me then
be a fucking rando
be just a fucking
disappointing
ass rando
like eventually right
eventually
if im chained in a castle by my very own animus
eventually
one of us is dying first
gotta keep the faith idk idk
gotta believe, and sure, have no lived experience, but gotta believe if this is some Naval Station Guantanamo Bay (NSGB) situation, that dynamic can flip, it just can, why wouldnt it, eventually, even just one time
i do have pride in certain ways about certain things, i do have limits
but i am really comfortable with a lot of stuff other people seem to find abhorrent cos i dont have the luxury of affording pride like that
like some pride is really expensive
for example, i have no issue with being released on pity
i know a lot of people are heavy heavy 'no pity' that's not me
like if my animus was like, i am literally unchaining you cos now shit has gotten so pathetic
i'd be like: ok thankyou
im just saying id dance out of there with a little pep in my step unless that's antagonizing cos i can shuffle morosely
what im not saying:
im not saying any of this is funny
it is so not funny
and im not saying any of this doesnt matter
i am saying there is a level of so fucking beyond it like so deeply sane as to be entirely delirious that fuck no im not sweating a pity release like that wouldve mattered eleven years ago when i gave a flying fuck about concepts like dignity
out of my price range
not in that tax bracket
traded that for deeper principles a long time ago
maybe a nicer and safe way of saying it: who hasnt been a fool for love
and if you havent
have you ever been in it
the chump club meetings are every tuesday at five
we rotate who brings simp snacks
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
all are welcone
it just isnt a thing, idk, to fret on
plenty of things i do fret on
being a chump?
never
think about having to live with it conversely ya know?
"wow i really took advantage of that chump"
"really baffled that puppy"
"really took a fucking idiot for a ride"
like.. that has to be carried
that isnt bragging rights
there is no honor there
