do you prefer "intimate" moments that are spontaneous and "just happen" in the heat of the moment?
or do you prefer a more planned "intimate" experience that are built up with anticipation?
#relationships #marriage #romance #intimacy #grownostr #asknostr
Building expectations can take mere minutes👀😄
This. Anticipation can be sudden.
hmmm...
what do you mean?? :3
If you know your partner well, a simple whisper, hand placement, look, etc can be enough to set them on fire. If your relationship is solid, there's a little flame on simmer all the time.
i see—i like this way of looking at it.
i think to me, this is more like planned anticipation since it takes more of a conscious effort in a longer-term relationship to keep the flame ignited.
but also for me, anticipation is nearly constant so... lol :3
interesting.
care to share more..?
How long do you need for the anticipations to be built? I'd get bored if I had to wait more than a few days. Tops.👀
i'm a guy—it's constant lol
but ugh She will make me wait, especially if i haven't been a good kitty :3
i live to yearn though <333
If it works for you. In standard fair dynamics using sex as a bribing tool doesn't bring much good in a long run. Also frustrated horny guys are imho not that..steady paced👀🤫😅
lol
omg i did NOT intend for it to sound that way, but i see now how it does >_<
it's not used as a bribing tool—it's just part of our "play"
a frustrating, horny guy can be very stable, motivated, and attentive if the Woman of interest is engaged <333
...or maybe it's just me :3
Both. Planned sponenaity is a thing, but I've learned that it takes a bunch of sustained effort. That's hard to do for anything.
Spontaneity is the way for me as my plans always go to shit. And the anxiety of planning "the" perfect thing 😖.
lol
that happens when kids enter the scene :P
what triggers the spontaneity for you??
Yeah, planning anything with a kid around 😵💫
It can be anything... the kid is gone, we had a fun day and I'm relaxed, a smell, a look, or a touch...not being tired 😆
i think nostr:npub1r8u6lw8c2h67s66magtqu78vtpckfzcsmmdsg06gqm723njsunfs8kfjwl nailed it when she said keeping the flame simmering.
it takes a conscious effort (and a bit of planning) to create those moments of "spontaneity" when we can reunite amidst the business of everyday life. at least for me that's how it feels.
Yes, I will also add being physically and emotionally attracted to your spouse/significant other helps with the "simmer"... I see so many people who are roommates that happened to be married, absolutely no sizzle.
i wonder if it's because the "simmer" ceases to be a priority, or maybe because the effort feels less "effortless"
hmmm
I think both maybe.
In one case in particular, it was a box checking girl. Get boyfriend ✅ Get married ✅ Get house ✅ Get Babies ✅ Get divorced ✅✅
Romance and intimacy can't thrive in that kind of toxicity.
Planned that are built up over time. Gives it more meaning
the planning adds a nice layer of romanticism to it <333
I need both of those options, otherwise it's like choosing between water and food.
Spontaneous ones are "to scratch an itch", but the planned ones are for making dreams happen when you fine-tune deep fantasies into becoming reality.
what a lovely description—thank you for sharing~! ^^
