like how i didnt
wreck the superbowl
for him
how i just sat there
so he wasnt alone
in the middle of absolute
levels of insane
unintentional
fuckery
Discussion
i do not woke march around my house
or control my family
at all at all
my dad works really hard
& loves football
i would never shame him into turning the game off
he is aware about palestine
he reads yahoo news & aol stuff
he is a babyboomer dude
i am not the grand inquisitor
like i said earlier
i literally know no one's past lives
which is a thing in my head canon
if you ever
had a life
dying in a coliseum
of any kind
i would absolutely lose it
to see it
i quite seriously dont want to know
cos i actually would
make a time machine
i actually would
i couldnt bear it
people who have been here
a lot & often
on balance of scales
have had some
easy deaths, fast ones, slow ones,
& truly catastrophic ones
i could not handle
you as a small child
torn apart by lions
in front of an audience with your family
i am truly telling you
i would make a time machine
before i was forced to helplessly watch that
lions starving too
just suffering across the board
with a cheering crowd
it is one thing
to by logic have math that tracks
it is another to watch it like a movie
like eyes stolen forced to watch
it is another to feel it embodied
emotionally
i cannot even begin to say
what it is to emotionally embody what is not your own life in the present
like was i supposed to go to grief counseling for parents who lost children as someone who has never even been a mom?
no. insanely disrespectful to do that.
but i was in agony for years.
& if i tried to get help?
with that story?
what would have happened to me.
medication certainly at bare minimum