That’s because marriage contracts are a shitcoin. Why would anyone in their right mind assign the government as the arbiter of your relationship?
Discussion
Enforcing private contracts (or backing their private mediation) is actually one of the few things a government arguably has any business doing.
I disagree. Governments are evil by nature. They fund themselves through violent extortion. They don’t have any business doing anything.
Well, okay, but that then negates all contract law and makes discussing it with you sort of pointless.
no, law pre-exists government, have a look at the bible, you will see "judges" precedes David
Contracts are an agreement between two parties. A breach of the contract does not necessitate the intervention of violent extortionists. In fact, most contract breaches don’t require the government at all. Most businesses ask their employees to sign arbitration agreements so that an arbitrator can help them resolve their disputes.
The arbitrator only has power to arbitrate because the threat of a messy, expensive court case looms over them.
The arbitrator has power because both parties agreed and assigned power to him. The expensive court case is a disincentive that pushed them to sign an arbitration agreement. You don’t have to agree to that. But it doesn’t give confidence to people that you’re someone that should be worked with.
Bitcoin can make prenups less important. Finding the right partner is the gold standard though. Ultimately I’m not sure why anyone cares what type of contract two people decide to consensually enter.
You still haven't said who enforces the contract if she wins the disagreement. Obviously, he can enforce his own clauses, but what does she do?
If there is no entity backing her side, then they have entered into a contract that only one of them has the power to enforce and that is an invalid contract.
You didn’t ask lol but you gotta stop thinking in terms of force and violence. The arbitrator makes a ruling based on the cases each person provides. If one of the parties disagrees, he or she can ignore the ruling but this looks bad on him or her. This is where the social contract is powerful. Who would marry that person who disregarded the ruling of their own arbitrator? Who would do business with that person? Would you marry someone that cheated in the past? Would you do business with someone accused of theft repeatedly? The solution isn’t going to always get you “justice,” but one individual’s loss in a partnership should not be subsidized by everyone in their community. If your partner turned out to be a scumbag that ripped you off, others shouldn’t be punished for it. The community will hear about these things and their reputation will suffer for it. This is how natural justice deters foul play without requiring violent extortion of other innocent people.
Natural Justice would be him being challenged to a duel by her brother or shot by her father. Patriarchs are the Justice of the Peace, if there are no official paths to enforce her contract.
The idea that a man can just leave her high and dry and walk away is based upon the error that other men have an interest in allowing him to leave, unscathed, leaving them to provide for an abandoned woman and not even giving them the satisfaction of exacting retribution.
Contracts with women are always de facto contracts with other men. Courts are a gentlemens' agreement, so eliminating courts just means men have to get the swords and pistols out, again.
Courts are not a gentlemen’s agreement. I never agreed to be ruled by a court. But yes men may get their swords and pistols and handle their own family disputes. Instead of the current socialist system that makes your loss everyone else’s problem. It’s not my fault Stephanie chose a bad husband. It’s not my fault Joseph’s wife committed adultery.
If there is abuse, adultery, or abandonment, most reasonable men would be happy to play by the rules and commit to marriage.
“No fault divorce” makes marriage a complete shitcoin because women can (and usually do) leave without any good reason outside of not feeling the vibe anymore… and the men foot the bill by default in the American court system.
Plainly, marriage is a scam in 🇺🇸
Thanks 🫶🏽
(No thanks 😅)
Women sometimes leave because of misbehavior from the husband. No-fault divorce can be a way for her to leave quicker and easier because it doesn't require a lengthy, costly legal battle or require her to collect evidence of his wrongdoing before leaving.
It can have a similar function to masking male misbehavior in marriage, as abortion does with rape.
Or you could’ve just not created a contract with the government and just leave when you are mistreated lol
You have clearly never been a woman in that situation.
Escape is hard even with "friends" who are abusing you. Especially if you live in their house. I had to steel myself hard to break away from a manipulator, and it only dawned on me a while later how vulnerable I was, that I ended up ghosting a psychotic landlady 2 months later after she brings her 7 foot tall blacksmith husband "I hope that's ok" on a second monthly inspection.
I have no idea what gender has to do with this?
Marriage has something to do with sex and reproduction.
the words "population" and "gender" (from generate) also inherently relate to sex and reproduction
(Natural) marriage is an inherently sexual contract and it is contracted between two parties, male and female, only one of which holds a monopoly on violence. The other party's contractual rights, and the rights of the children born into the contract, have to be defended by a separate male party.
That is why marriage isn't like a business contract, where it's two people making a deal at eye-level, that they can just walk away from and shrug. And this is why marriage is "the" contract, and not merely "a" contract.
It is a contract linking two societies or bloodlines.
yup, that's why it's so pivotal to so much history
Yeah, that's why women hardly feature in history, except as a "reason" why a feud broke out.
many stop having sex after marriage 😂
But a marriage contract is typically sealed by consummation, so there's something inherently sexual about it.
Most people consummate before marriage. These rules are all arbitrary. People do what they want. People have families and care for each other without a marriage contract.
We each have to choose the sort of environment we want to live in and I choose a better, more-married place than we have now, not a worse, more-ghetto one.
What you claim to be “better” is just your opinion. It’s what you think is better for you. You have not proven it to be factually better and it’s unlikely that anyone can. Some people would disagree with you that this society is better. There are ancient tribes that openly reproduced together and believed that all the children belonged to everyone. People didn’t kill each other for sleeping with women they liked because they didn’t view any single woman as their property. They raised the children together as a community. It worked for them. Do I think it’s “better?” No I don’t. I wouldn’t live in a community like that. But that’s my opinion and I have no right to enforce my opinions on what I think is better upon others.
You can't consumate a contract that doesn't exist.
It doesn’t have to physically exist. A verbal contract is fine: “I love you forever.” “I will only be with you.” “I want to be exclusive with you.”
You say they are consummating before marriage (which is illogical) and then claim they are consummating after marriage (which was my argument).
A marriage contract is generally sealed by sexual intercourse conducive to procreation, which makes it different from other contracts.
You can't accidentally get knocked up opening a bank account online or getting a car loan.
Im saying these things are arbitrary. Some people get married without the intention of procreating.
couples who wait til marriage tend to have significantly better sex lives
Evidence?
several studies have been done, however this is the first result from the google machine:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/12/101222112102.htm
This doesn’t necessarily prove that waiting for marriage makes sex better. Delaying sex makes people value it more. This is just human nature. The longer and more difficult it is to earn something, the more we value it. Getting a car for free and working your ass off to buy one 6 months later are two completely different experiences.
right. i did say it makes for better "sex lives" anf not necessarily better sex. It would be difficult to scientifically rate something so subjective, but i guess I was specufically focusing on quantity, which is actually measurable.
Oh I know I’m just saying it’s not the marriage that makes it a better sex life but the delay of sex. If two people agreed not to have sex until they were ready to commit for life and move in together, their sex life wouldn’t be any worse than a couple that got a government approved piece of paper saying they’re married. If anything I’d argue the former couple would have a better sex life because both individuals don’t feel any compulsion to remain in the relationship. They are choosing to be with that person every day because it is genuinely what they want. It’s a much better feeling knowing that your partner can leave you but chooses to be with you than knowing your partner may leave you if it weren’t for this contract.
This is why abstinence before marriage is important. That way abstinence after marriage isn't such a shock.
It is also supposed to be a contract between the couple and society. This is why witnesses are required. Society needs children and marriage agrees to provide them in exchange for support and protection of the marriage.
The state gets involved because society is an interested party. (No state without replenishing the people) This is also why the state is traditionally uninterested in other types of infertile unions.
According to who?
When the majority of marriages (and the percentage is climbing) end in divorce… and women are usually the ones to initiate divorce, it’s not as clear-cut to just blame ‘misbehaving husbands’
There are, however, countless predatory women who marry + divorce whenever they want for any reason, even if there isn’t abuse, adultery, or abandonment.
Each relationship is different, and there is no simple explanation to why marriages fail, but the state has definitely worsened the success rate… because they have incentivized the misbehavior of women.
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