If you are a married person who had lots of sex before finding your husband or wife... the world is full of sinners and you are not alone.
A good, mature idea is to (A) not talk about it, (B) develop some shame about it, and (C) not actively undermine your marriage by defending it on the internet.
#dontbeawhore
If you are a faggot with a bunch of followers on nostr, a good mature idea is to (A) not talk
She belongs in the streets
It seems pretty obvious to me that she misunderstood him and he didn't clarify his point. That's sad.
Oh yes! I remember that one. I was trying to do my own version of the classic joke: "you find yourself trapped in a room with 100 dicks. How many do you choke on?"
I'm glad my post caught your attention. Do yoj mind sharing what you think?
D) Let the shame lead you to repent and enjoy the tender mercies and glorious freedom found in Christ.
YES
Telling someone to feel shame is never the way. I choose compassion for the wounded. Thatâs what Jesus would do.
Jesus didn't teach pride over sin.
I didnât say anything about pride.
Shame is the natural and proper response to sin.
Telling someone not to feel shame when they sin is never the way.
I wholeheartedly disagree. Shame is a completely made up emotion to control people.
Religious indoctrination is real however.
I don't know about that. Is it possible for someone to feel bad about or regret a choice that they made?
Absolutely. Remorse, regret, feeling bad is natural.
Shame is when you are told you are a bad person for doing a wrong thing. That is not productive. Of course people do bad, make wrong choices but wallowing in it doesnât serve you or the person you wronged. Make amends and move on. Forgiveness is what the true Jesus taught. Not the religionâs version of Jesus.
Shame in parenting is also super lazy in my opinionâŚ.getting curious about why your child may have done the thing will lead to far greater results than telling them they are bad.
Unconditional love and shame cannot exist in the same home.
No. Feeling a painful emotion caused by the awareness of having done something wrong or foolish is the exact definition of shame.
Correct that is the noun definition. Telling someone they should feel shame is a verb. That is what I disagree with.
Telling someone that the proper response to "doing wrong" is shame, like getting schlonged a hundred times before having a family, is a form of kindness.
chick is drunk on her psychologisms.
34 âDo not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.
thank you for bringing psychologism into my awareness. đđ˝ help me see mine please.
I do not dispute the proper response to âdoing wrongâ is shame.
Where is that quote from?
thats from the bible. Jesus Christ speaking...
the issue is that our christian sensibilities in the west have been ruthlessly taken advantage of...
the "tolerance" and forgiveness have been exploited to the point where little girls are now forced to carry axes in the park due to the invasion riding on the coattails of said exploitation.
women have invaded ALL male spaces using "equality" as the beating stick. leaving men cucked and frustrated. this was planned by the enemy who introduced your foremothers to "feminism".
yes. you have enemies.
i dont entirely disagree with some of psychology's views on shame and guilt as destructive and counter-productive... but thats not the type of shame being discussed in this thread...
a shameless state of being, promotes and incentivizes all sorts of the evil and depravity so pronounced everywhere these days.
we are sick of it and fully intend to eradicate it absolutely.
shame and bullying will be a healthy part of getting things back in order so out little girls dont have to carry around battle axes in the park ffs.
I comprehend. Thank you đđ˝ Iâll look up the Bible verse.
When we compare ourselves to Godâs law (10 commandment) we are told that we did wrong ergo shame. We all fall short of Godâs glory.
Jesus did not come to abandon the law but to fulfill it. He dies for us!
So Jesus sets us free. We need to know the problem to see the solution and can put our old self behind.
Jesus taught repentance, that is understanding we are sinners come to him and then He will forgive us.
I think you are confused. Shaming, the verb, isn't an emotion, but shame, the noun absolutely is an emotion. A person can feel (the noun) shame without having experienced (the verb) shaming. Okay technically I believe it was a gerund that time, but I hope you still get my point.
Do you want to rephrase your argument?
I do get your point and agree with it. I stand by shaming is not the way.
It seems to me that there are circumstances where a person would prefer to feel shame for something than to be absolutely shameless, and that sometimes a person might be genuinely thankful that they were shamed for something. Does a scenario like that seem plausible to you? And are you trying to express that shaming is not the way in any circumstances, or only that shaming is not the way in cases of sexual promiscuity?
Also, please stay out of this thread from now on @Laser. I'm genuinely trying to understand the position of nostr:npub1my7lrzaa8dfyc2aafyylmazfphevnhv8pf5mmsl4kta022dv2czsszc9yn , not set up "gotchas" for fucking vultures.
Yes thatâs plausibleâŚ.shame as an indicator of our moral compass, if you will.
What Iâm trying to express is that when given an opportunity between shaming, belittling, judging or getting curious and offering compassion, I would in almost all scenarios choose love/compassion.
Now yes this is very nuanced. I can give a few examples.
I have a distinct memory from one of my figure skating competitions (somewhere around middle school age) where I completely let my nerves get the best of me and forgot my choreography. I was technically highly skilled so I managed to place 2nd. My coach took the trophy and said you should be ashamed of that performance. She was right. It was not even close to what my best was. She was teaching me a valuable lesson and she knew me well enough to pass shame.
Itâs unfortunately common for mothers to shame other mothers for not breastfeeding or co-sleeping or not vaccinating or whatever. To me this is in the category of strangers just passing judgment and that is never the way. We never know what someone is going through, where they came from, what theyâre carrying. Why on earth would you choose to add any negatively to anyoneâs day?
Yes there are rare times I would deem shaming necessary. Situations when it seems that moral compass isnât quite calibrated.
I do think internal shame (noun) will inherently be there and adding external shame (verb) only beats a dead horse so to say. We donât know strangerâs resilience mentally, especially the state of society today. Constant external shame erodes self worth and a society full of low self worth individuals is not productive.
Generally, I donât see shaming as solving anything. When the moral compass is missing Iâd get curious on traumas, mineral or nutrient deficiencies and circumstances that shaped their worldview. Most people donât want to do that because itâs not quick or as easy as passing shame. Choosing love, compassion, forgiveness and kindness isnât always easy but the more you do it, the more it is. I mean have you ever seen one of those videos of a family forgiving the driver of a car that killed their loved one?! đ
This got long but I hope clarifies my position and I left spirituality/religion out because that would have made it even longer.
I appreciate you leaving spirituality and religion out of your response, since I consider myself an athiest and I don't believe it would have helped me to understand your position.
I believe that shame only specifically relates to bad actions. I believe that your characterization of shame as relating to morality is wrong. In your figure skating example, would you say that forgetting your choreography was immoral? Maybe it's just a difference between how we use our words, but I would choose to talk about just good and bad rather than morality in those circumstances.
As I understand your position, it seems that you are not against shame in general, but rather you are against shaming strangers. However, I have many enriching experiences of my own where I have been shamed by strangers. I believe that the most important factor is not whether the people interacting have a prior relationship, but rather it's whether the judgement and shaming itself is properly tailored and personal. If a stranger understands another's circumstances and thought process then I believe it's often perfectly legitimate for the stranger to shame them, specifically when that criticism strikes at the core of the other's mistakes.
In this particular situation for example, I would say that there isn't anything inherently wrong with slut shaming, but rather in order for any slut shaming to occur, there should actually be novel insight into why sleeping around would be bad, and should ignore or even compliment anything that is only incidental to the core criticism. Do you still disagree?
Youâre welcome. I can respect that.
I failed to illustrate the âimmoralâ part in the example; which was me gloating about doing terrible and still receiving a trophy.
That is fascinating to me and would love to hear more about that if youâre willing to share. Perhaps I donât give people enough credit because to me it is incredibly hard to understand anotherâs circumstances without really knowing them.
I donât think we disagree. Go ahead and slut shame, I think Iâm just confused on the why? Maybe some people just really feel the need to shame people and thatâs their role in this world đ¤ˇđźââď¸ I will never comprehend that because I feel the opposite and want to spread love. Thank you for the conversation, it has helped me clarify a lot around shame. đđ˝
Shame comes from within only.
Not true Sir. There is both external and internal shame and I would argue internal shame can only come as the result of external shame.
If you aborted your baby, you would feel shame, and it would be coming from within.
If you did not feel shame, I would hope that someone would help you to.
Jesus did not teach pride over sin exactly! He said whoever is free of blemish, cast the first stone. He also broke bread with prostitutes and tax collectors.
If you believe in the Holy Trinity then you acknowledge that Jesus embodied both justice and mercy.
You acknowledge in the Gospel of Mark he acted on righteous anger
You acknowledge that he destroyed Soddom for lack of virtue specifically sexual morality
You can receive absolution but you must turn away from sin as Laser describes.
Jesus was not a pushover
Read the Gospel of Mark
Understand that the Holy Trinity means that Jesus also nuked Sodom for specifically sexual immorality
ââWoe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.â -Jesus
Telling entire cities to feel shame
Most women have lost the plot, Iâm sorry but itâs true. Not that some men havenât but far more women.
You poor thing. If you really think you can separate the sexes and point to one as saying they are wrong. You really donât see very well. We all come from God and we get to heaven together or not at all in my opinion. If you felt that women were somehow lacking, perhaps compassion would be the way to go. I sense a lot of anger from the men in this thread. Not so much love not so much, Jesus. And not one of you has claimed to be a virgin before marriage and that is the whole argument I made.
Most importantly D) create a culture and environment where your children avoid repeating your mistakes
This is by far the most important one and the reason why these womenâs resistance to the truth you speak is despicable. No one is asking you to be a saint just accept the truth and try to be better.
Yes, in a nutshell their argument is something like "we all sin so sin is completely okay Jesus would accept me for who I am you must be really insecure to care about good and bad behavior in your betroved."
Exactly and it muddies the waters and detracts from the point: making the world better.
The point is not to change the past (impossible) itâs to create a healthier more virtuous culture in alignment with God where everyone wins.
Nor is it to pretend anyone can live up to Christ 's perfect example, but instead to accept our depravity, commit to good discernment, and to become aware of the extent of our sinful nature.
"Who are you to judge me?"
A sinner who, saved by Christ, toils in sanctification, calling those away from sin and shaming sin in the town square where it has been otherwise celebrated.
(Only Christ can and will judge you in the final sense; Christians can only wield discernment, which may or may not feel your own conscience).
I think you should care about your betrothed. The whole point is that she may be caring about the same things and I suspect that you are not as pure as this betrothed you wish for.
Laser is already married so what he âwishes forâ is moot.
The way I interpret the post you lost it over is: he is describing the virtues he wants instilled in his daughters. To end the cycle of pain and sin. Why does that make you so hostile? It says a lot about you that Laser stating the obvious would make you apoplectic.
Right so! Be better ;)
Excuse me, can you post a link to or the nevent of the original thread pleae? I seriously don't understand all this effort to bringing up a conversation without encouraging people going back to read it for themselves. The fact that this isn't a link genuinely confused me into thinking this was a Twitter screenshot.
