there would be so many flags on play already it wouldnt even be funny
so beyond so not ok
so me, specifically me?
in a situation like:
"be impeccable this very instant or they all die"
bro?
im lying
Discussion
cos like again, were the four agreements written to enslave me? is that what this is? that author writes something i like and that means im bound to it? tortured by it? fucked by it?
abuse absolutely over every line abuse
i read the four agreements
"Be impeccable with your word"
"Do not take anything personally"
"Do not make assumptions"
"Always do your best"
cool within reason that's a thing to have to work with. not to overwork into perfection. just like.. to take it as a hallmark card
"seasons greetings" hey? that's a nice sentiment. the seasons greeting me. i read, i smile. gently gently
if i wanted to meet the author who wrote the four agreements
would that author have a list of every time i was full of shit. is that author the lie tabulator? or is that author like: "hey thanks for liking my book."
an inspiration came to me that i felt aligned with. i was upset about the lack of unspoiled animal protein in gaza. like palestinians are beneath deserving animal protein. the rest of the world may have this except them. they are not allowed. only they are not. they are vermin. they cannot be 'saved'.
hurt my heart. inspiration came to me. that i will abstain from meat as long as they are forced to.
the inspiration came gently, it was an offer
felt right to me
does this mean i became a totalitarian vegan?
absolutely not.
it meant to me, be way more mindful
go way more veggie as you wish however you want, maybe just fish is a cool place to find equilibrium, drop it at any time my body says: no more. i need red meat.
does that make me a liar?
or am i drawing inspiration from whatever minor gestures come to me
in gentle human range experimenting calibrating softly softly
at the beach at that beach i had a companion
a lantern fly who loved being in my hair
no matter how gently i tried to shift this little one, that little one wanted to be there
ok chill here
i dont mind
i walked all the way over to the dunes
thinking we could part in safety that way
the lantern fly in the dune grass
me on my way back home
how long this took was extraordinary
did not want to leave me
i would not force anything
i do not care that official policy is to kill them on site fuck off this is an indigenous thing
the first trip to the dunes did not work
cos i walked there without my stuff
like my bag was on the beach without me back by the ocean
so we walked back and hung out and then i got my stuff & we all walked to the dunes again
was gonna take the time it took
i started contemplating taking this lantern fly home in the car with me
what did the lantern fly need?
a cap full of fresh water? a pretzel nugget? does the lantern fly eat sugar? i put a nugget in the dune grass if the answer was yes
now on the dune grass are we good?
or are you crawling up the blade of grass to hop back on me
im not going anywhere
are you chilling? are you doing your thing on the dune grass or are you freaking out trying to get back in my hair? i have all the time in the world
after the longest time watching with my hand out in offering like very whatever it is, im open i dont mind
it seemed to me like the lantern fly was fine & yea the nugget was there if they eat cinnamon sugar pretzel nuggets
so i walked back towards the parking lot
if someone, a human being, walked up to me about this & said: fuck you. the agreement in this country is on site we all smash
my response is: fuck you dont tell me what to do
i was not born from my mother wanting a baby for over ten years
to be strongarmed into violence
i get to be as humane as my heart is
always
my heart is my own
to me it comes down to, what errors do i prefer? im human i make them
would i rather be in error out of mercy out of sparing out of second chances
or would i rather be in error by being too heavy handed, too harsh, too ruthless
mercy always mercy always mercy
how does that work with divestment?
this is ground already covered to me
humane range to me to say: hey? there isnt a way back from this to me. like re: regina. and sure this is frivolous this is music choice. who cares what i delete from my music library. and that's ok. no one has to care about my minor gestures. i do.