Sometimes I feel like the kid on the sidelines waving my hand and yelling, "Hey! I wanna play!" but #asknostr I need help understanding *how* do I add relays so my posts don't take days to load? And how come I can't follow anyone on Primal (I'm trying to follow others, honest!) but hitting the "follow" button does nothing (ditto likes). I want to play on the Nostr playground--help me figure it out 😁 
Discussion
Which client are you using? Do you know which relays you want to add?
I don't know how to add a relay at all. The ones I have I have zero idea how I got.
I'm using Damus on my cell (annoyed I can't zap anyone though), and iris and primal on my desktop.
Followed! If you are using Damus as a client, you can go to my profile, add some relays from my list, check my followers list too, and follow the accounts that interest you.
How do I add relays from your list? And how would I even know which ones to choose from that would be appropriate for me?
Sorry you're ill btw 🙁
That’s alright 💜🫂
If you are using Damus as a client :
When you click on my relays, you will see a « show » in the upper right of the screen. Click on that, and you will see a + button near the relays, click on that to add them.
Those relays are purely based on my experience here. I cannot tell you exactly which one to choose.
nostr.wine is a pretty good one, but it’s a paid one.
There was a website that shows you all the existing relays in Nostr, but I don’t have the link 😭
How did you choose the relays you have? Did you just start adding miscellaneous relays? Are relays just relays or do some of them have personalities (in a sense?)
You can say that I choose them to maximize coverage, these are popular relays.
If you want relays by topic, the only one I know is the one that nostr:npub1995y964wmxl94crx3ksfley24szjr390skdd237ex9z7ttp5c9lqld8vtf launched today.
If you want to browse nostr by topic, try looking for hashtags that interest you.
There is something called communities also which is the nostr version of subreddits, you might want to look into that (see the website satellite.earth)
nostr:note1csr56crs0ssz8zcu8yghdmvaxerd5pkwegqad3qemmd2ucu0urdqxlwv56
I tried adding some relays from your list but this is what it now looks like 🤷♀️zero idea what I'm doing 😂 
The one with the B icon next to them, are paid ones. The one with 🌎 are free ones. Two of them are connected for you.
So if I am understanding...I have 4 relays, 2 of which I'm paying for? I don't even know how that happened.
Wait this is an updated pic. So 8 relays, 2 which are somehow paid for (I don't even know how I got onto those or what or how I'm paying) SO confusing 🙇♀️ 
What do you mean by "days to load"?
When I post a photo, it takes long minutes to load, even if I am on Wi-Fi. Sometimes it times out a bunch during the process. Times that by multiple photos and it feels like days.
And is there a way to upload more than one photo at a time? Or am I asking too much?
I found better success uploading a video on my computer using Primal than on my phone using Damus. If photos are taking long to load, maybe try Primal on the computer instead. I’m also interested in uploading more than one photo at once; I don’t think Damus can do it.