cos like, why hurt yourself that way

that's like a chick that unlocks her dudes phone when he is sleeping

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as in: i get being so gaslit, having a hunch, & needs must

but that is such a wild nuclear option that you just simply have to carry forever

confessed or unconfessed

both options are terrible

when both options suck

why ever make that move?

thats what the round table would be about

like just ~why~

never would i ever

always make it so clear it is me

it is the very first thing i do

cant walk some stuff back

can admit it

can be forgiven on the condition of being teased at will forever like truly for eternity in private

cos thats fair

in general

like, if you gaslit someone

& they actually forgive you

they ~do~ get to remind you in perpetuity

if thats intolerable keep the secret at ~that~ cost

see how lose lose all this shit is

internal family systems talks about being blended with parts instead of in full self

when blended with a part, at whatever age that part happens to be, that part is abandoned & alone & lost & cant hear you, the full self

once blended, like jungian possession, that blend runs the show

like a little girl fucking screaming in so much pain only Palestinians who have been in so much pain can hear her

they have the bandwidth

& inside primary narcissism all that matters is someone anyone who has the bandwidth

a blended part is often a self sabotaging one

again, like a child locked in a room with no one there

there is no access to the rest of the fuller self that can step in & immediately fix it

im wondering if having many sock accounts is not a manifestation, for some people, in a similar way

blended parts wanting their own account

their own platform