“How do I orange pill someone on #Bitcoin when I only have 1-2 minutes?”

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The first step is to tell them to clear their entire schedule for the next 72 hours.

Then, start with a 6 hour rant about the Federal Reserve. Don’t let them interrupt or go to the bathroom.

Follow that up with a 4 hour explanation of why they are a statist cuck if they don’t self custody with a 5 of 7 multisig.

Make sure they understand that they’re not allowed to *buy* Bitcoin. They have to mine it. Otherwise the sats will be KYC and those are for cucks. But they need to build their own miner from only open source parts suppliers otherwise they are a Bitmain cuck.

Then, sit them down and force them to read out loud the Fiat Standard, Bitcoin Standard, and Principles of Economics — no water breaks.

Next, they need to build their own computer using only items that can be found at an abandoned RadioShack. They’ll use this computer to set up their #Bitcoin  and Lightning node.

Then, have them generate their first seed via dice rolls with dice they personally crafted from whale bones.

Make sure they add a pass phrase that is a random string of characters created based on solar flare randomization. They should also write the algorithm to generate this themselves, obviously.

Once all this is done ask them “are you ready to start using Bitcoin?”

If they respond “yes” SLAP THEM TWICE and say “NO ONE IS EVER READY.”

Now, offer to send them some Bitcoin but DO NOT SEND THEM ANY BECAUSE BITCOIN IS ONLY FOR STACKING NOT SPENDING.

Then hog tie and blindfold them and drive them to the middle of bear-infested Alaskan forest. Leave them with only an OpenDime to defend themselves.

And that’s it! Now they’re finally ready to *start* learning about Bitcoin.

…

What was the question again?