I would probably stop talking and look at my husband until he is done and then continue to answer the question.
Then when we're alone, I'd bring it up.
We already have an established boundary of not interrupting each other, and if we miss it, we clean up the mess by asking for forgiveness, in private!
Someone else might touch his arm to indicate that he's crossing an already set boundary saying something like, "the question was directed at me, I'd like to answer it." Said kindly and calmly.
I would NEVER chide him in public. I don't even do that in private.
It's one thing to assert a boundary, but it needs to be done in kindness. She wasn't kind. It doesn't seem like she has asked him for what she wants, she sounds like she's asserting an unspoken boundary, meaning, she hasn't actually given him the chance to agree to not do that. Getting angry or annoyed and chiding someone for crossing our boundaries are not the same as making an agreement about how to treat each other.
This is why I strongly recommend Alison Armstrong's stuff, because she goes into detail about how to make deals and assert boundaries in a healthy way that works for both men and women. Frustration doesn't work, kindness does.
this might work at a dinner party. you think that's how a red carpet event works? Things are on a tighter schedule. It's likely Los Angeles or another large city where everything moves faster. Etiquette is different.
So do you think how she handled it was good?
She still didn't answer the question and came off as disrespectful and chiding.
I'm not most people, which is why I added the part of confronting him kindly. Yes, I think that would have worked way better! And wouldn't have cause her to look so bad. She could have conducted herself with elegance, but she chose to act rudely and condescendingly, ON THE RED CARPET, which is definitely not the place for that, unless that's the persona you want to portray.
I'm only seeing this clip. I don't know what the question even was...but answering questions on camera is a whole different thing...the relationship between the woman and the camera (and/or) reporter is different and not relevant.
I'm not judging her actions as 'good' or 'bad'.
It was her choice to enforce the boundary of "we're on the red carpet and I'm being asked a question....so I'm going to claim the space to answer the question I was asked".
I don't use the word "Chide" very often, but maybe you're missing the point? This isn't about Alec and Hilaria. This is about a person being asked a question on the red carpet, and then saying "I won't be interrupted", and then attempting to make a statement.
Ok. But you started asking me questions and I answered them. I care about how I act, and I think that's important. It is also important to set boundaries, but they kinda defete the point if they're done harshly or rudely.
Even if she wanted to control the situation, which is another thing I don't agree with doing(but that's a different issue) but even if one wanted to do that, there are so many other ways to do that that are still respectful to the person you're setting the boundary with.
As I thought I mentioned.... it's not about "controlling the situation". It's about responding to the question posed to her in the - and this is key - time/capacity allotted for quickly getting someone from the red carpet, to the film/event.
What I haven't understood your response to is what it's like to operate in a big city where communication is different in order to move things forward in a timely and orderly manner.
I'd love to see an example of what you're talking about in a similar situation if you happen to have one/dig one up.
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