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So I feel like I have to start this whole rant off with I do not condone child abuse.

But I had certain habits, cleanliness, how to act, how to be polite, quite literally beaten into me. If I was disrespectful, or if I didn't clean up after myself, I got my ass whooped.

And I look at adults who are my age, I'm in my mid 30s for reference, who still don't know how to clean up after themselves and can barely act polite and wonder how they would be if they had just gotten their ass whooped as a kid.

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Discussion

kidwarp 6mo ago

Agreed… kids need a good ass whopping every now and then…

Enki 6mo ago

I mean, I don't know. If I ever become a parent, I seriously hope I don't ever hit my kids and can figure out a way to instill these same habits / ideals I have without physical violence. I'm not a parent, so I don't really know where that line is.

But I guess also in my case I grew up in a household where we were both physically and mentally abused. So maybe I take that viewpoint to an extreme.

Enki 6mo ago

And I know there are some extremes on both viewpoints. I know some people say like a light paddling isn't a bad thing. And some people who think, touching your kids in any sort of harmful manner is abuse and shouldn't do it. And again, I'm not a parent so I don't really know where that fucking line is.

I just see people my age who grew up doing whatever they want Without any sort of punishment and wonder if they would be different, if they had gotten some sort of punishment as a child beyond like a light grounding or you can't play video games.

kidwarp 6mo ago

Like I told definitely not saying a parent should just like abuse their child at all…

But idk maybe because I was a rough and wild child and got spankings, belted, started a fist fight with my dad & 14 n got a broken nose…

Some kids need it lol my dad in no way whooped my ass for no reason that’s for sure…

I definitely think it worked for me…

🤣🤣🤣🤣

kidwarp 6mo ago

I’m a parent and will not ever punish my daughter (special needs - doesn’t matter tho) the same way as I was…

Enki 6mo ago

Yeah, no, that's fair. I didn't think that you were saying that parents should abuse their kids. I definitely had a Wild child streak and probably fairly deserved some of the whoopings I got. 😅

nobody 6mo ago

I'm not a parent, but i grew up in a family that have a mix culture.

Like stealing and being rude, you need to whack them hard enough so they know if they do it outside they will get something worst than what you are doing to them.

kidwarp 6mo ago

Agreed

DagzTagz 6mo ago

I also do not condone child abuse in any form but I get what you’re saying… I got hit in the face quite a bit as a kid by various people and I feel like it shows 😂

Enki 6mo ago

Yeah, I didn't know how to say it without making it sound like I wanted people to just go beat the shit out of their kids, so I felt like I had to put that caveat up front.

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 6mo ago

I didn't know it showed, you're brave and thoughtful so this is surprising. 🫂

DagzTagz 6mo ago

Thank you 🫂

karo 6mo ago

I was physically disciplined as a kid. I don't think it made me better or more well behaved. It was the adult's way of expressing their anger or frustration.

As a parent now, I wouldn't hit my child, ever. My emotional dysregulation is not their problem. I'm the adult and I should have the capacity to step back from roiling emotions of both me and my child, assess the situation and determine an effective way to help them understand why their behavior is not okay and what they should do instead, in an age appropriate, developmentally appropriate way.

I give our previous generations a pass. They honestly didn't know better but now we do. We have the entire Internet and can freely access so much information on childhood development, human psychology and behavior. We understand mental well being and mental health so much better now. Anyone still resorting to violence to teach their kids are frankly living in the stone age.

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 6mo ago

Glad to see a few people are talking sense in this thread 🤙

Enki 6mo ago

I feel like if nothing else, I have a pretty damn good playbook for what not to do when I become a parent.

I said this below, but I'll reiterate that I hope when / if I become a parent I'll find ways to do things without violence I genuinely do not want my own kid to grow up the same way I did.

Enki 6mo ago

Therapy has taught me that a lot of my Habits were primarily based on fear. And while being polite and clean are good things, I adopted those behaviors because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.

Matt 6mo ago

All hitting a child does is teach them that violence is the best way to encourage compliance.

My father spanked me once as a young child and never did again. He later told me it made him cry when I cried and he decided he wouldn't do it again.

And he never had to. His presence and disappointment always cut deeper.

My mother took the opposite approach and it never worked. My school paddled me and it never worked.

Funny enough, sitting me down and reasoning with me so that I understood the request almost always did. I needed the opportunity to be guided rather than forced. I'm still that way.

You don't have to hit children. The bigger problem is that many parents have basically handed parenting (to any degree) over to state schools and mobile devices, which is a disastrous recipe.

CarteBlanche 6mo ago

Legit