1. It's for everyone. You don't need to be technical to use it. There is a lot of technical talk because there are a lot of devs and enthusiasts who like those details. Over time people will build clients that take care of the technical stuff or make it easier for you.
2. Zaps are Bitcoin sent via the lightning network to other users. You can zap someone's note and the amount will show up publicly on the note. If you are using Damus though that feature was removed because Apple couldn't take a cut.
3. No client can be ban anyone completely. Some will block potentially bad users for you. Some relays may also attempt to filter out unwanted users. Amethyst on Android is one client that uses the report system to decide who to filter for you, and it has be turned off if you don't want filters.
4. Someone else will have to answer, I'm not a dev.