Ladies, if you want to get married, just avoid men who are looking for a girlfriend.
Discussion
Some of us are good, loyal men. We want to be with one person, treat them well, want to build a family, and just don’t want the state involved in our relationships.
in most country marriages are regulated by the state and empower the two people marrying to use unjust laws to make advantage of each other.
Being non-married could be a "fuck the state, what we are doing as a couple is not your business" statement.
For christian people that want to follow the orthodossy but are not ok with the pervasive presence of the state in their lives I think is more difficult to resolve this dichotomy.
Either he loves her and her future children, and wants what is best for them, or he doesn't.
Not every man is called to marry. Husbandry is only meant for men who can live up to the standard Christ set by being crucified for the sake of the Church.
Yup.
Pretty sure I should just accept being alone on a mountain.
I think you are a good uncle and a faithful Christian and that is much more than most men are.
My Plan B, if my husband passes before me, is to join one of those celibate religious groups. I think about it, sometimes.
There are many worse things to do with your time.
I low-key want to become a "professional" sacristan, but I can't figure out how to do it without everyone freaking out that I'm not girl-bossing correctly. 😅
I keep dropping hints...
Who would freak out?
Everyone who is looking forward to me becoming a computer scientist. 🙈
Meh.
Worry about what God and your husband think about that. The rest might just be "shoulding" all over you and that's just something to ignore.
Don't be silly with your misogynic 'God' --rofl the absurd use of the capital G-- and relidocile husband! She sounds more than --potentially-- qualified to become a computer scientist.
🙄
She's very qualified. However, she does not want to be. We both believe in big G God. She's also the type of woman to submit to her husband by full intelligent choice and faith. Your attempts to demean her beliefs are as ridiculous as your lack of any consistency in your note.
You're an idiot and I think I'll likely mute you if you can't bother to be civil. 🤷♂️
'does not want to be'? there's relipressure for ya
And what's wrong with that if it's something someone chooses?
How many men choose this? If none, why not? It's a free choice, no social pressure, etc.
Choose what, precisely?
you're asking yourself: read back
BTW my writings were not intended to demean anyone's beliefs.
You sure did and insulted Stella's basic intelligence and general competence.
That's true.
He's trying to help me with my studies more, as he sees me sort of burning out and becoming discouraged. An entire semester of only applied math classes is making me go nuts.
He thinks I should at least try to finish and then I can always do something else. Give it the ole "college try" 😂.
Ugh, just saw that you're talking to that guy I muted.
That would make most people go nuts, especially if you have to do dumb presentations in latex. (the markup language, perverts. 🙄 Germany is weird, but probably not that weird yet. 😏)
I get the thought about wanting to try, but from someone who tries college 5 times and just gave up... I don't think that there is any shame in you deciding that it isn't for you. However, you certainly are capable enough mentally to do it. 🤷♂️
I don't really have any reason to quit, since I don't need to pay for it and I don't need to work. I can just keep on being bored, for a while, and see what happens.
I can't really start a new job right now, anyway, as we have so much travel and house moving and stuff, planned.
But I'm keeping the sacristan idea in the back pocket. I've been doing it, for years, I just want to focus more on it. We'll see.
It's good to not have a rush to make a decision like that and give yourself more time to let time teach you where you need to apply yourself the most.
It’s not that difficult for Christians, simply by a family Bible have someone ordained or “called” to preach pray over the Bible and the couple. Have a ceremony, each person makes vows unto the Lord and not to each other, sign & date the Bible, and have guests sign it as witnesses. Easy and stateless 😊
I want to get married
would you like to get to know your future wife first before you marry her?
Completely disagree. The “dating” phase is incredibly important in developing a strong marriage.
If you want to get married, set boundaries, be realistic, vulnerable, and abstain from sex. Men know the women they want to marry — women just need to be strong enough in themselves to be courted and not demanding, controlling, and insecure.
nostr:note1dg30pxavpc628wr7veun3c5wu0u4wp0ffdgj6hery8n00zre83fq9nscka
Well, I'm not gonna marry a girl out of the box. It's like buying a 2nd hand car without test driving it.
The real question is why would you waste your time chasing someone who wants a toy rather than an investment. Men are hard to find, while little boys are a dime a dozen. I tell my children that there is no reason to be dating unless you are ready for marriage. Work hard to be the person your future spouse would want to marry, and don't pay any attention to those still stuck in the toybox.
