I use Haven for my main inbox / outbox and that seems to be running great.
Still get confused by the whole inbox outbox model and how events propagate
Discussion
It's a little confusing. I sat down with pen and paper and made a diagram to help me visualize and understand it.
Notes, replies, reactions and zaps to other people's notes get published on your public inbox relays.
Replies, reactions, and zaps to your published notes and replies from other users get logged to your public inbox relays.
Private messages, both incoming and outgoing, get written to your DM Inbox relays.
Your drafts, and client app settings get written to and accessed from your Private Home relays.
Your local relay (Citrine) is used like a public outbox relay. It stores copies of all your published notes, replies, reactions, as well as information about zaps you've made.
Search is handled by your search (NIP-50) relays. These relays are queried whenever you conduct a search from your client app.
General relays are the foundation of your feed. They deliver everyone else's notes to your client to be viewed and accessed on your feeds.
* The first part about where your notes are published should say "public OUTBOX relays", not public INBOX relays. Sorry for the mistype.
You meant that the moment you send a reply, you are notified with the replied message?
Yes. Someone replies to one of my notes. I don't get a notification. I reply to their reply, and the moment I post my reply I get the notification for their original reply.
I can't imagine an explanation for that, only thing I can say is that maybe the reply is not available on your inbox relays, and when you send a reply to it, your inbox relay tries to find the note in other relays and make it avaibake for you on that moment
Can you share the diagram?
Yeah, that's easy to explain! And Everything is changing so fast too...