They should just let people pay $2499 or whatever to just "download an iPhone" for Android. Just one massive app with all that goofy shit in it.

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I think certain messaging apps handle this differently though. From what I recall, Google messages handles a mix of devices quite well for SMS/MMS. The basic FOSS messaging apps are quite shit though regardless. They handle pretty much nothing well.

I know it's a meme to be that guy who says we just need a standard, but it would be nice to have a decentralized, secure standard lol

yeah, they'd have to charge you 50,000$ to make it worth it for them, or they take away your frens.