trans women just want to be respected and recognized for who they are (women), they don't want to be simply reduced to their genitals, a human being is more than just that, ffs
Trans rights activists have been kicking actual lesbians out of their own safe spaces for years, this is simply the latest in a long chain.
All the "lesbian" subs on Reddit are majority straight males who wear makeup circlejerking. Anyone who talks about wanting same sex relationships is banned for transphobia.
See also: https://www.spiked-online.com/2021/10/28/the-homophobia-of-the-trans-lobby/
Discussion
I'm guessing that you have not recently been told that you are a literal Nazi and a hateful person who needs to die in a fire and be banned from society because you happen to be sexually attracted to people with particular genitals and not others.
unfortunately there are extremism in every community, and I don't really support this kind of violence.
but all this violence is a response to violence and hate trans folks are going through. violence against their on existence and identity.
There is no (or very little) violence against trans people's physical existence. Trans activists have popularized a notion that there is a genocide happening to wipe out trans people, this is the same populist intox that the far right use (great replacement theory, great reset theory, etc).
Arguing against an ideology is not violence, and if you believe that your entire existence and identity is at risk because it depends on an ideology that can be disproved, then perhaps you should consider not basing your existence and identity on an ideology.
no physical violence maybe, but the psychological violence impact is so huge and hurtful to us
Could you consider the psychological violence to women of biological males harassing us in our supposedly safe spaces?
https://twitter.com/OliLondonTV/status/1651985668044730370
Could you consider the psychological violence to women of biological males competing in our sports category when they are physically much stronger than us, obviously winning all the trophies and making a mockery of our achievements?
Could you consider the psychological damage to children of telling them that they are in the wrong body, that they need to be sterilized and mutilated and medicated for the rest of their lives, which may not be long anyway since the drugs used to suppress puberty permanently damage their bones and cause other severe medical problems?
https://www.californiafamily.org/2022/04/yes-mutilation-surgeries-are-performed-on-children/
Could you consider the psychological damage to lesbians of telling them that they must date biological males or be banned and censored from their own spaces, doxed and receive death and rape threats?
https://www.openlynews.com/i/?id=1d8e4853-fd83-4fbb-b0b4-ebab528f0ac2
1. Again, I don't support this kind of violence. Plus because of a transgender woman being violent, does it mean all of trans folks are violent as well ? I don't really get the point here.
2. Presence of trans folks in sports is a tricky subject I don't really know much about, I don't really want to engage on this. But there's some studies saying the gap between trans & cis women isn't really clear : https://www.bbc.com/sport/61346517
3. Children are NEVER forced to transition, and nobody except oneself is able to know and say they're trans. Surgical transition isn't authorized on minors (or it shouldn't). The advice of the child should always be asked.
4. Nobody forced anyone to date transgender women. These bans are against transphobes who don't even respect trans folks.
All of these arguments don't represent what trans community thinks about all this. Trans community (as all of the LGBTI+ community) supports lesbians, the community just doesn't stand transphobic ppl.
I understand your focus on trans genitals, but is it a reason to start a crusade against the entirety of the trans community ?
Banning and censoring me from lesbian safe spaces for not being sexually attracted to "girldick" is not supporting me, it is homophobia. The "LGBTQIAS+" alphabet nonsense is not my community, and it is not the gay community, transgender and queer has nothing to do with homosexuality and it has nothing to do with the oppression we have faced, except in as much as yet again I find biological males telling me what I can and can't do.
I am not interested in the trans community, you can have your own space if you want. But the trans community wants to exclude me from MY space. You seem to think that slapping a label of "transphobe" on me for whatever reason gives you permission to oppress me in any way you want. What is your definition of "transphobe"? Someone who refers to you with pronouns you don't want them to? If so you are trying to police other people's thoughts.
1. It does not mean that all trans people are violent. But it does mean that women must be protected against the risk of violence. The violence is perpetrated almost exclusively by biological males. So biological males need to be excluded from women's safe spaces (toilets, abuse shelters, prisons).
3. Children cannot by their very nature give informed consent, just as they cannot give informed consent for sex, therefore "the advice of the child" is worthless. Transition IS being imposed on children in anglophone countries, strangers are deciding for the child if they qualify as trans and the parents are being overridden or kept in the dark. You can research many examples of this. Here are examples of it being imposed on children as young as two years old: https://100percentfedup.com/sick-three-leading-n-carolina-hospitals-offer-gender-affirming-care-to-children-as-young-as-2-yrs-old/
4. A transphobe is being defined by trans rights activists as someone who doesn't want to date transgender woman, so your logic is circular. Trans activists are literally banning people for saying they don't want to sleep with them. And the spaces that they are being banned from are spaces that were created by them and for them. It is as if I invited you into my house, then you stole my keys, said it is your house now and kicked me out because I didn't want to sleep with you.
you're right, I haven't been called Nazi recently.
but every day I see on the Internet people I don't even know telling that people like me are monsters, telling us we're not what we tell we are ; all this even though I never recognized myself in the identity I've been given at birth, even though I hate myself because I don't look like I'd like to be, and because even if I'd be happy with my appearance, other random people could just tell I'm a monster to shatter all this light confidence I managed to build to try to be happy.
fortunately I'm not criticized for what I say
unfortunately I'm criticized for who I am
I am not telling you that you are a monster.
Not liking yourself as you are is something that you can work on, and more positively than pretending to be something that you are not. Through counselling or through #stoicism you can learn to come to terms with yourself. This is the healthy outcome. Creating a fantasy version of yourself and then claiming that you are that thing because you "self-identify" as it is not healthy, it is a delusion, just like people going around claiming to be Jesus.
Nobody "gave you an identity at birth" - your sex was determined by the chromosomes in your DNA when you were conceived, and observed at birth. Your sex, just like your age or your race, is inherently part of your identity and important to determine the kinds of medical conditions that may affect you among many other things.
I would encourage you to find confidence in your actual lived reality rather than trying to live a lie, that is the only way you will truly find happiness as you will always know deep down when you are deluding yourself. That doesn't mean you shouldn't wear dresses if you want to - wear whatever you want, but don't try to claim that it changes what you are.
And please stop using sex and gender as if these 2 terms meant the same thing.
WE KNOW we'll never be biological women, but gender is a social construct ffs
Of course I can wear dresses if I want, but I really feel like I would better explore my feminity and masculinity if I had a feminine body to start.
If gender is a social construct, then different people can have different opinions on whether it is a social construct, which can be debated, correct?
And if by gender you actually mean "stereotypes of the roles and behaviors of people of different sexes in society" then the words "woman" and "man" are not defined in terms of those stereotypes, so cannot simply be claimed by changing your role or behavior or simply declaring it to be so. They are defined in terms of biological sex.
I don't think about stereotypes at all.
I just see gender as a spectrum so wide that allow anyone to be how they feel on this spectrum, it's a whole diversity
You can define "gender" as whatever you want it to be, but it is meaningless and irrelevant if anyone can be anything they want. But you didn't engage with the point I made, that the words "woman" and "man" are not defined in terms of "gender", they are defined in terms of sex, female or male.
Sex is not a spectrum, it's a simple binary that everyone learns in school. This is a very simple explanation of why it is a binary not a spectrum :
That's entirely the point : gender is a social construct, it's just a part of a person's identity, allowing it to be what we want.
If you want to keep your gender aligned to your sex, it's fine. If you want your gender to be something else, it's fine too. People choosing their gender doesn't affect your life, so why do you care?
Sex (or genitals) is indeed a biological reality, but its only importance is for when you want to have kids, else we don't give a damn about what's in people's pants.
This is the important part of my point : we don't force anything to anybody, we just want to be able to express ourselves freely. It doesn't change anything for anybody else, so why is it so much important?
Unfortunately this is not true. Claiming to be something that you are not DOES change things for other people as I have explained several times to you with examples.
If you could just express yourself without colonizing other people's space, nobody would have any problem with that. The only reason there is conflict here is because you (or trans rights activists in general) are crossing a line into territory that already belongs to someone else.
"gender is a social construct, it's just a part of a person's identity, allowing it to be what we want"
You misunderstand what identity is. Your identity is not what you feel about yourself or how you think about yourself inside your own head. Look at your identity card. It lists the important details about you that OTHER people use to distinguish you from anyone else: your date of birth, your place of birth, your sex, your name. Inside your head you don't need a name, you're the only person in there. Your date of birth is irrelevant inside your head. Your identity is what other people agree on to say that you are this person and not that person. As such your identity absolutely doesn't allow you to be what you want, it is not your decision to make.
"People choosing their gender doesn't affect your life, so why do you care?"
I don't care how you present. I do care if you claim to actually be a woman, because that is objectively false, and misogynistic, and endangers women.
"Sex (or genitals) is indeed a biological reality, but its only importance is for when you want to have kids, else we don't give a damn about what's in people's pants."
There are lots of people who don't want to have kids but very much do care what is in the pants of people they want to have sex with or form emotional relationships with. The fact that you might not, should not be used to invalidate those people.
I tried stoicism, it's a wonderful philosophy which helped me so much in my life.
But it didn't help me accept who I'm told I am. I never found myself in the ♂ gender. I tried and tried so hard to fit in it, so hard I hated myself to not being able to "just" be what everyone want me to be.
Stoicism helped me on that only by letting me think for years that "it is what it is" and that the only solution I had was to barely tolerate the individual I am, to just be this default human an just exist in my head.
But when I learnt more about the transidentity, I found a way to reappropriate my physical self, to finally feel at home in my own body.
Feeling these colorful emotions after all these years filled with gray tints of "it is what it is, I'll never be happy with myself" is just a relieve, it give hope, it gives joy and let us hope for happiness.
Please don't take us that. We're just trying to be happy after hating ourselves our entire life.
I don't want to take away your hope or your trans identity. All I am saying is that you cannot just decide to call yourself a woman, because being a woman is a lot more than how you feel about yourself and necessarily involves quite a bit of biology.
I am very much in favor of safe spaces, sports categories, etc for trans identified people if they feel they need it. But women also need their own safe spaces, sports categories, etc which are exclusive to us. Invading those spaces is not fair to us. Invading lesbian safe spaces and then kicking us out of them because we are only interested in relationships with biological women is not fair to us. Go make "transbian" communities if you want, we would not complain, we are not oppressing you. But stop appropriating us and kicking us out of our own house.
If you cannot find the answers through reflection alone, then perhaps counselling is the solution. Others, especially trained psychiatrists, may be able to help you see solutions that are indistinct or invisible from your current point of view.
As for transwomen being women and wanting to be recognized as such, there are transwomen who don't agree with the gender ideology that you are whatever you declare yourself to be.
For instance:
https://twitter.com/kelly_cadigan/status/1652646020809891843
https://twitter.com/duchess_elle
https://mirandayardley.com/en/from-lesbian-and-gay-liberation-to-equality/