ok so, ya read an article, go: til and move on. but, i skimmed the comments and this is what i want to share, this is the purpose of this

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someone in the comments was bemoaning the fact that alex was their husband's favorite artist. they said they felt sick to learn this and would never tell him

inference: it would break his heart, he would be devastated, they wanted to spare him the pain of being so crushed and sick to his stomach

is that the answer? say nothing?

let me jump back in time elsewhere and weave something in

i very very deeply cared about the student encampments for gaza

i very very very deeply cared about the encampment i was a part of

i cared about the people i met, i cared about the kids, i cared about the dogs i met, i cared for the trees, the flowers, the squirrels, i started dreaming about maybe taking a class at that university even thats how much

then there was a morning i parked my car, as always

and someone i had met there, and indigenous someone i liked so very much, suddenly arrived in his car like he swooped in as if by magic

he said: have you heard?

i said: what?

he said: hop in

i didnt have to find out all alone

he was with me

we went around the block

he parked

we got out together to see the devastation

the cops

our whole encampment trashed

everyone missing

i will tell you

when it comes to really bad news

the grace is in how

not ignoring it

when my mom died

did my dad have a choice not to tell me and my brother?

what would he have said?

mom ran off?

mom went to a farm upstate?

i dont know how he survived telling us. i dont even know how he got the sentence to come out of his throat. but he did. he told us. it was drizzling that day. we were in the Adirondacks. summer camp. he had to leave the hospital and my mom's dead body and drive to lake placid by himself. to tell us in person.

we were all sitting on the same couch. the cushions were thin and marigold yellow.

serious matters

momentous matters

actual private matters

deserve care and respect

deserve being handled in person

no one deserves to find out their loved one died on tv

no one deserves a text message ending a marriage

no one deserves to be hired over email

no one deserves to be fired over email