someone in the comments was bemoaning the fact that alex was their husband's favorite artist. they said they felt sick to learn this and would never tell him
inference: it would break his heart, he would be devastated, they wanted to spare him the pain of being so crushed and sick to his stomach
is that the answer? say nothing?
let me jump back in time elsewhere and weave something in
i very very deeply cared about the student encampments for gaza
i very very very deeply cared about the encampment i was a part of
i cared about the people i met, i cared about the kids, i cared about the dogs i met, i cared for the trees, the flowers, the squirrels, i started dreaming about maybe taking a class at that university even thats how much
then there was a morning i parked my car, as always
and someone i had met there, and indigenous someone i liked so very much, suddenly arrived in his car like he swooped in as if by magic
he said: have you heard?
i said: what?
he said: hop in
i didnt have to find out all alone
he was with me
we went around the block
he parked
we got out together to see the devastation
the cops
our whole encampment trashed
everyone missing
i will tell you
when it comes to really bad news
the grace is in how
not ignoring it
when my mom died
did my dad have a choice not to tell me and my brother?
what would he have said?
mom ran off?
mom went to a farm upstate?
i dont know how he survived telling us. i dont even know how he got the sentence to come out of his throat. but he did. he told us. it was drizzling that day. we were in the Adirondacks. summer camp. he had to leave the hospital and my mom's dead body and drive to lake placid by himself. to tell us in person.
we were all sitting on the same couch. the cushions were thin and marigold yellow.
serious matters
momentous matters
actual private matters
deserve care and respect
deserve being handled in person
no one deserves to find out their loved one died on tv
no one deserves a text message ending a marriage
no one deserves to be hired over email
no one deserves to be fired over email
