But you always teleport to the same place

Penis can’t teleport with you

Everytime you teleport your dick shrinks a quarter inch!

Side effect: you shit yourself every time you do it

You accidentally become an insect like Jeff Goldblum.

But you turn into a large woman named Bertha every time you teleport.

Can only fly nude

Shit your pants on every take off.

You can only fly straight up and down.

Testicular tendernes

Only by blowing into your thumb with your pinky up.

You now are confined to the store location of the nearest forever21.

That increases unit bias and everyone flocks to cumrocket.

You never catch the spike.

Time locked for 1,000,000 blocks

They only stream through your node in lightning routing.

The sats go to a custodial wallet.

Local gravity eliminated.

But you’re 700lbs

I might find another gravitational field but if I didn’t I guess I’d be floating in the void or I hop on an ARV 🛸

Inability to do basic math.

Terrible skin rash.

Only lasts 3 seconds. Makes you cum.

Light stops too so you are blind while time is stopped

You can't silence the noise

out your bum 😭

But you instantly poop put a potato whenever you do

Blind while invisible

But only your skin so everyone just sees meat and organs

Zero geospatial awareness

You get blind for 3 days every time you use it.

Can be used once for every puppy you sacrifice

You can never take your shoes off once you put them on and you're already wearing shoes

Tinnitus.

You forget one childhood memory each time you use the ability.

Can't form long term memories.

Explosions make your horny.

Can't land anywhere.