Trust is very appealing! it is so wonderful to have a partner that you can trust and rely on! And I think that's what people often mean.
The technical definition of submit is "accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person." Certainly that is not healthy in a loving relationship.
I just think there is a burden on submission (i.e. loss of full autonomy) as well as a burden of leadership (i.e. responsible for others). Again, only arguing in principle, you do you.
Ya burden would be a good word.
I see these kinds of arrangements and a failure of development and individuation. To become a fully actualized adult you have to take on responsibility for yourself and you have to realize that you don't control others. These arrangements hold us back from that.
well, "submission" can very well exist in a healthy, loving relationship.
but it's not something the "dominant" partner demands—it's something the submissive partner needs.
the submission is an expression of love and given willingly.
If you were to use the word "trust" I would agree with you.
you know, i thought about adding in something about trust since you mentioned it in your other reply. but it's more than just trust—there's a deep intimacy, a mutual respect, and vulnerability in this type of submission. it's something that's desired and inspired—just a way *some* of us are wired.
trust is foundational in this—in any healthy relationship. but this greatly differs from the view of "submission" that most of these trads types espouse—the focus never seems to be on choice or trust, but compliance.
