Regardless of gender, feelings are ok; better to master your feelings than be sabotaged by them.

When you slip(yell fight etc), apologize to the kid directly; model how reconnecting and forgiveness looks like.

Trying to teach them a lesson while they're still reeling from getting called out for whatever, is not the time. Lessons are built over time not on the spot, that's an adult capability and we still suck at it.

Impact vs intention.

Boundaries, not just rules.

Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.

Remove "They should know by now" form your lexicon; always assume they don't, you'll save a lot on therapy later.