What advice would you give a new dad?
#asknostr
Discussion
Be patience, always.
Talk about your feelings, always.
Not a dad, but I figure sleep is important.
Are you a new dad?? 🤔
Look at your kids as teachers, not the other way around. Stay humble, stack love, trust, and good memories with them
Always offer to do the nighttime feedings. Even if mama says no, she will appreciate you wanting to help.
Also, remember that you aren't raising a baby or a child, you are raising a man or woman. They will have to be able to be kind and thoughtful to their own partners when they are grown.
Don't forget gou were a son..
.. do remember he'll have to raise a son/daughter.
After changing the diaper, wash your hands first before touching your eyes.
If you feel something on your lip, don't lick it
It's Okay to Not Know Everything
No one is a perfect parent, especially in the beginning. There will be times when the baby cries and you have no idea why, and that's okay. Don't be too hard on yourself. Trust your instincts and remember that you and your partner are a team. Communicate openly and honestly with each other about your feelings and challenges.
👆🎯
Don't forget what it was like to be a kid yourself.
Your life won't be like this forever. It's just a short but intense season.
The baby will grow up and become more independent.
BE PATIENT AND ENJOY EVERY MOMENT BECAUSE IT FLYS BY TOO FAST ...
Expect the unexpected.
don’t sweat the small stuff.
Treat kids as tiny adults that need lots of help learning new things.
Talk to them a lot, make conversations out of their jibber jabber, no silly baby talk stuff even tho it seems cute.
Pay attention to how they go poop… get them out of diapers asap. Clothe diapers are way cheaper in the long run.
Enjoy every minute of it. It goes way too quick. As others have said, don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s not worth it in the end.
You're fucked. But you'll make it. 💛
Remember the things you swore you would never do if you had kids of your own.
Kids aren’t as fragile as you think.
AND more fragile than you think at the same time. Often they'll switch places.
Gahhhhh did nobody say
Stay humble and stack sats???
If you are a new or upcoming father, god bless and good luck.
There's a lot of terrible advice in this thread. Follow me instead
This too shall pass. Whatever thing is going on that seems like the end of the world at the moment is just a phase... Just be there for mom and babe 🫂
When you're getting mad, don't say anything and walk away till you've calmed down.
Be consistent. Be present. Pick your battles, but when you pick a battle, win decisively.
Your priority is to support the mother in every way for at least the first 45 days
Regardless of gender, feelings are ok; better to master your feelings than be sabotaged by them.
When you slip(yell fight etc), apologize to the kid directly; model how reconnecting and forgiveness looks like.
Trying to teach them a lesson while they're still reeling from getting called out for whatever, is not the time. Lessons are built over time not on the spot, that's an adult capability and we still suck at it.
Impact vs intention.
Boundaries, not just rules.
Clear is kind, unclear is unkind.
Remove "They should know by now" form your lexicon; always assume they don't, you'll save a lot on therapy later.
Congrats. Be patient and set reasonable boundaries.
take care of the mother so the mother can take care of the baby.
keep her hydrated, fed and well rested. check in with her emotions and mental state.
she needs a long stretch of uninterrupted sleep everyday. You have to acquire all the skills necessary to take care of the baby during that time.
Keep them out of any government school. Doesn't matter how "good" of a parent you are, if they go to public school they are fucked.
Put the phone down and soak it in as often as much as possible. Nothing is more scarce than the time we have with our kids when they are young and have no one to look up to but us. I’m preaching this to myself right now too
Don’t worry, just keep showing up 😀 Consistent parenting counts most.
The fathers role becomes more important over time.
Always back mom up.
Kids jumping off stuff into your arms is way more important than people acknowledge.
no screens
Don't let them run the house just because you want to be the "nice dad". Discuss, argue.. But sometimes it's ok to say "because I say so" 😂
Their childhood is a series of phases. Be ready to adapt and enjoy each new phase. Something that used to work will stop working and you have to adapt multiple times.
Get sleep.
You will always wish you did something different. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Really Listen, Praise often, make them laugh, kids love to laugh.
Never give up.
Kids may ask 500 questions a day
Be patient!💪
The local pub is you friend 😂
You're a placeholder, in a sense. Your love and character will help them understand their heavenly Father's, and when you can't be there for them, He will.
Homeschool. It's okay to be frugal and make it work on one income. They need you more than they need flashy stuff or endless activities, and stacking sats will help make that possible. With God's help, it can still be done.
Yeah... Don't drop the baby. Get some sleep.
Bless you!
Ask questions such as the one you just asked. That way you can learn from other people's "mistakes" (not sure if the word 'mistake' is the correct one in this context) and avoid them. Good luck!
Don't Blink. They're grown and gone so fast. Do teach lessons that make them anti fragile. Make sure they understand that life isn't fair. Let them learn that words and actions have consequences. Make sure they know to nurture their spiritual side. This life is very temporary and there is eternity to follow. Prepare for eternity.
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Cry when the baby cries. Eat when.. well, never. You don’t eat anymore. 😂
Get those #sats for the child..🧡🧡
Managing your energy&sleep and that of the mother has been my biggest challenge. I almost survived the first year, it wasn't always easy..
Take more videos and pictures. Mine is 17 and I wish I had taken more videos of the "stupid" moments. Small things like car rides, hanging out at home, whatever.
I would trade everything for another weekend with him at age 5 -10. I'm proud of who he is becoming, but I wish I took more photos.
Never let the automatic pilot control you.
When someone takes a bus for the first time, it's all magical, but when the person starts to take the bus frequently, the magic experience slowly goes away because the person is not aware of its environment anymore, it's the automatic pilot controlling them.
If the person becomes conscious again, the magical feeling comes back instantly.
I remember some months ago when I was in a place with other relatives and this dad was scrolling his phone, then his daughter came very happily and showed him a drawing, and he said in a boring voice: "cool", and started scrolling his phone again.
Therefore, it's important to always be conscious/present in the moment.
If the son says he wants to do or be something big, don't mock him and don't say stuff like: "we're just an average family", "that's impossible", instead, encourage him.
Also, everything you promise, do it, even if it's the most simple thing in the planet.
And let him play with dirt and in nature as much as possible, and walk barefoot.
I'm a father of 5 and I know what I'm talking about (just kidding 😂)
Capture every moment, photos, videos, even the small, seemingly trivial ones. Time flies, and you’ll treasure these memories as your kids grow. Don’t stress over the little things! Parenthood quickly teaches you just how self-centered life was before kids. You’ll experience a full range of emotions, but learning patience becomes key. And above all, carve out time alone with your partner to maintain that side of your relationship. It matters more than you think.
When they are infants, go out. It gets harder when they get older.
Best advice I didn’t see anyone cover: prioritize sleep! Set schedules and keep them as much as possible. We started sleep training at 6m and I heard of people starting as soon as 3m. Search cry it out method. Kids need to learn how to self sooth. They can’t rely on stroller, car rides, MOM, being held in order to fall asleep. I’m not saying you should never do it, just limit it as they get older.
TL/DR version of Cry it Out. Send Mom away from home for the afternoon/evening and get ready…that baby wants you as you are EVERYTHING to them. Assuming they are well fed and diaper changed; put them down and get out of room. They cry, set a 5 min timer, go in settle them, check diaper, walk away. They cry set a 10 minute timer. Repeat but make sure you increase the time each time to you calm and check on them. 15, 20, 30, go in check on them and sooth them enough they aren’t hard crying. This process is hard on Moms, they are programmed to check on crying babies. I challenge anyone to cry for an hour and not be exhausted. They will fall asleep, it is a bit taxing but 2-3 nights and they will go down quicker and sleep better in the future.
Prioritize sleep! It pays dividends for the rest of their lives.