By knowing who's operating them, and evaluating if you trust the operator. If you don't know the operator it's probably not trustworthy.
Discussion
I don’t really know any operator of any relay. The top relay operators are literally attacking each other now 😂
Well we know nostr:nprofile1qqsr9cvzwc652r4m83d86ykplrnm9dg5gwdvzzn8ameanlvut35wy3gpzdmhxw309aex2mrp0yhx5c34x5hxxmmdqyxhwumn8ghj7mn0wvhxcmmvqyg8wumn8ghj7mn0wd68ytnvv9hxgpywa92 runs relay.damus.io and nostr:nprofile1qqsdv8emcke7k3qqaldwv956tstu40ejg663gdsaayuuujs6pknw7jspp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqprpmhxue69uhhqun9d45h2mfwwpexjmtpdshxuet5qyf8wumn8ghj7ur4wfcxcetsv9njuetnn9mexk atleast decides the fate of relay.primal.net , we know nostr:nprofile1qqsrmpp2lmx4u2fl9zmxy7fnwp9rlwxwz5a2j8tep2c376n494z2gtgpzamhxue69uhkxetvd3shytnwdaehgu3wwa5kuegpzamhxue69uhkxun9v968ytnwdaehgu3wwa5kuegpzpmhxue69uhkummnw3ezuamfdejszp39e9 runs the nostr.wine relays. So you know whom to reach out to if you suspect at least these relays of bad behavior 😛
🍷💜
You can also run your own relay for writes and negentropy sync it, so you only need to connect to it for reads as well 😛, that would be almost perfect privacy.
I tried running my own private relay but it required tor and it didn’t work very well with iPhone
Ahh you don't really need Tor, Tor just enables you to be able to access it from anywhere , it can also be done with a VPS like tailscale. But if you're only using it on your home network, you really need nothing at all, you can just connect to your relays IP.
I think I did use tail scale with it for a while but I prefer my VPN. Idk maybe I’ll try to do it again because it’s been a while and it’s important.